Piano Man
by temporaryinsanity91
Summary: It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it. But it's also true that we won't know what we've been missing until it arrives." Meet Bella's daughter's new piano teacher, Edward Cullen. T for some language... very mild.
1. One

**A/N: i'm trying something different for this fic. i've decided to post a playlist of songs that go with each chapter. some songs are actually christian, some are not, but the lyrics are all worth a listen (i only listen to music under that condition). the songs are credited; it'll be in title,artist format for every song with a semicolon (;) in between, just so no one gets confused. those of you who may be instant star fans, i borrowed alot of songs from that soundtrack. they just go well with this story.**

**hope the playlists add to the depth of the fic, the message and themes of the story, as well as your enjoyment.**

**cheers!**

**~temporary insanity**

* * *

_Playlist: savin me, nickelback; bring me life, evanescence; unraveling, tyler kyte; save me, remy zero; clocks, coldplay;_

* * *

"Thanks, Alice."

"Mommy!!"

"Hey Vanessa. Did you have fun in soccer today?" Bella pulled her eight year old daughter into her arms and inhaled her soft, childish scent.

"Yeah! I made two goals!"

"Good girl." She seemed to have inherited her deceased father's sportiness rather than her own clumsiness. She had Mike's soft blond locks, but her eyes were big and bouncy, and the color of rich chocolate. She recovered from losing herself in her lovely little girl's eyes and straightened. "Go take a bath, baby."

"Okay!"

"I'll come and tuck you in."

"Yay!"

She sighed as her daughter ran up the stairs and into her room. Times like these, she hated Mike with a violent, burning passion.

"You need to get out more."

"Look, I am fine. As long as my Nessa is doing okay…"

"How is she? She didn't look very happy today during practice."

"She's getting tired of hiding behind sports. She wants to quit softball this spring and take an art instead. She'd rather, quote, 'express my feelings rather than hide them'."

"I don't blame her!"

"Shut up, Alice."

"I mean… soccer, gymnastics, softball, _and_ basketball? All you guys ever do is sports, sports, sports!"

Bella sighed, and tears shook her voice. "It's all she has left of him. All _I _have left."

"What about Newton's?"

"I might have to sell it."

Alice gasped.

"I don't know! It's been three years since Mike died and the store is not paying the bills. Besides, if I go back to teaching, I'll have more time for Nessa's hobbies. And literature is what I love."

"Well," sighed Alice dramatically, "More power to you, I guess." Suddenly she brightened, getting all hyper like she did when she was scheming. "I know just the thing for Vanessa. My Brother is moving into town from London. He teaches private piano lessons."

"Who? Edward, the guy you swear I'm going to marry? Alice, please…"

"Look, it's perfect! He doesn't charge an arm and a leg, either. And you'll get yourself a desperately needed boyfriend. And with that, I'm off. I need to talk to Edward and tell him he has his first client. Call Emmet, Bells. He misses you."

Bella watched her friend scamper off. _Scheming little pixie._

**B|E**

Edward sighed into the phone. "Alice, I'll teach the girl piano if that's what she wants, but… hooking up with her mom is unprofessional. And it's just weird!" he sighed again. "Look, when I get into town, keep Rose occupied. Emmett and I are going to get really, really drunk. Especially if you're throwing this girl and her kid at me… don't be what way? So what if I haven't dated in a while. Maybe I don't want to." He scoffed. "Have you seen me? I can have any girl I want. Whatever. I'll see you next week, Pix." He softened. "Love you too."

He sighed and snapped his cell phone shut. He let his fingers roam over the keys. He didn't know what to think. There was a beautiful, single mom that Alice wanted him to be with. He knew he was going to get close to the kid. He always got close to his students. He stopped playing, his breath catching in his throat. If he dated her mom and she took off on him like Lauren did… it would break him. No, it would pulverize him; he was already broken. All he had left was his music. It was his comfort zone, his area of security, so that was where he'd stay.

He turned back to his music.

**E|B**

"BELLA!!!!" Emmett scooped her into one of his notorious bone-crushing hugs. "It's been so long! You don't call me anymore! And Rose misses you to death. What's going on? Are you okay?"

"I'd be better if I could breath, Em."

"Sorry." He put her down for a second, then scooped her up again. "Aww Bells, it' so good to see you!"

She chuckled at his enthusiasm. It was something he and his sister, Alice, had in common. Their adoptive brother, Edward, from what she had heard from them, was the calm one.

She'd never met him before. He was adopted as a junior… before she moved to Washington. She and Alice were pen pals since fifth grade and all through college they kept in touch. She knew all about Edward Cullen, but she'd never seen him once. She was the maid of honor at Alice's wedding… but he was on tour then as a concert pianist. When Rose and Emmett got married, he was in London, where he'd decided to stay. He'd always been close to them. But he liked them better from a distance. In doses.

With good reason, she decided as she tried to follow the conversation the two were having. They were quite overwhelming when in the same vicinity. How Carlisle and Esme handled those two was beyond her.

"Right, Bells?"

She finally finished snapping out of it. "Hm?"

"Oh God, Bella! You're pathetic!"

"Not entirely," she mumbled in defense.

"Cheer up, Bells." Emmett put his arms around her in a comforting hug. "I know today is a sad day. But you're tough."

She nodded. She knew that too. It was the fourth year anniversary of the accident that had taken Mike.

"Your little girl needs you to be happy."

"I don't know how anymore."

He sighed. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost my Rosie the way you lost Mike."

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Why couldn't he love me like you love her?"

"I don't know Bells. But you're good. And you're beautiful. And you're smart. The guy for you is out there. Mike wasn't it. He's gone, honey, and you have to move forward. If not for you, then for your daughter."

"Apparently, the guy for me is in your family," she muttered under her breath.

Emmett burst out laughing. "Mary Alice Whitlock Cullen, what the hell did you do?!"

"I told her to take Nessa to Edward for piano lessons so they could get together." Alice was completely unrepentant.

Emmett burst out laughing again, his laughter shaking the house. Emmett was huge and very ripped. He was like what happened when Floyd Mayweather mated the Hulk. Or the entire freakin military. Or Godzilla. Or Ironman. Except much, much cuter. He had brown eyes and curly dark hair which he kept short, and dimples on both his cheeks. Despite his terrifying size or the fact that his laughter shook the house, he was a teddy bear with a huge friendly smile and a child-like heart.

"Well she and Edward could both use some action."

"Before you laugh, Emmett, I'm sure your brother and I both are doing perfectly fine without _action_."

Emmett tried not to laugh.

She glared at him.

He gave up. "Whatever you say, baby sister," he chortled.


	2. Two

_Playlist: home, building 429; incomplete, backstreet boys; clocks, coldplay; hello goodbye, the beetles (paul mccartney); mirror, barlow girl._

* * *

He was finally home. He looked around at his new place. A stone fireplace, warm colors and large open spaces made the first floor of this spacious house all his own. He had a foyer and a former living room and dining room, but he also had a space for his piano… with another fireplace. The 'classroom' was more like a private jamming space, complete with an overstuffed loves seat and matching chairs.

His dog, a German shorthaired pointer with big floppy ears, a goofy smile, and chocolate coat, was curled in one of those chairs watching him intently. She whined.

"I know you're anxious to get out," he murmured, "but it's pouring rain. You hate it when it rains. And you'll get my furniture all wet and I'll have to beat your bloody behind."

She grunted and set her head back on her paws, watching the fire again.

"I'll let you out in the morning. I promise."

She didn't move her eyes from the fire, but she got that goofy smile on her face.

"I'm going insane. I'm talking to my dog and acting like she understands. Let's go to bed, Brownie."

She jumped up and followed him up the stairs and into the spacious master bedroom, immediately trotting to the corner and curling up on her massive pillow.

The phone rang.

"Hello? Edward! Oh my you have to come out with us!"

"Alice, I was just headed to bed."

"God, you're a spoilsport."

"I just got done with my unpacking, Pix. I'm tired."

"Please. You'll get to meet Bella." There was a groan and a 'shut the hell up, Alice!' in the background.

He groaned too. "What have you done to the poor girl, Alice?"

"Nothing." Her voice was too innocent.

"Just because I've been in London for the past few years doesn't mean I don't know you. What did you do to force her to come?"

Alice sighed. "Not more than the usual…"

"Look, I'm going to bed. Maybe, when she brings her daughter to class tomorrow, I'll meet her on her own terms and she'll be more cheerful about meeting me."

"Fine. Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Pixie. Love you."

"Love you too. Jazz and Emmett say hi. They're at the bar right now."

"Tell them I'll be happy to see them soon."

"Okay. Bye, Edward."

"Bye, Pix." He hung up and sighed. He hoped Alice's matchmaking didn't end in disaster.

**E|B**

Alice sighed and snapped the phone shut. "Well?"

Bella was still gaping at the phone. His voice was unlike anything she'd ever heard. Low and smooth like velvet, with a tiny hint of a British accent that he'd picked up after living in England too long. "That's… Edward? The pianist?"

"Yep. But obviously, I can't force him to come like I can with you."

"Oh shut up."

"What do you think?"

Saved by the huge teddy bear, Bella thought as Emmett set her drink in front of her. "Thanks." She turned back to Alice. "He calls you Pixie?"

She chuckled. "It used to annoy the hell out of me., but then it sort of became his thing and… well he's the only one that gets away with calling me that"—she glared at Emmett and Jasper—"and it's sort of become his endearment to me."

"It fits."

"Oh hush. Let's dance."

"Um… that is where I draw the line, right there. If I can fall up the stairs _sober_ then I will not dance with this" – she pointed at her Margarita—"in my system."

"Oh Bells, Come on."

"My daughter is at home sleeping. She expects me to come home in one piece."

Alice sighed. "I'll dance with Jasper then."

"Nice to know I'm you second choice."

"Shut up and dance, Jasper."

"Yes Ma'am." And they were off.

**B|E**

So it was the next day, Tuesday afternoon, that was his first class with Vanessa Newton, an eight year old girl that belonged to what Alice believed was his soul mate. He was nervous about not liking her… or more importantly, her not liking him. In truth, he was far too lonely lately, even with Brownie to keep him company; Brownie was no Lauren. He wanted to get back in the dating game. Lauren had left him sorely broken and confused when she left, and his hopes of finding the girl of his dreams had faded since then. He hadn't bothered dating in years. Not for lack of women, because plenty threw themselves at him, using horrible lines like, 'won't you play my keys, Edward?' or 'oh Edward, I've never done it on a grand piano before'. To which he usually replied, 'and with me, you never will'.

He shuddered. The women in London were beautiful, as well as in other places that he had toured. But none of them would have stayed if given the chance; they just wanted to get in his pants. This made him angry; he was no whore.

The doorbell rang as he shook his head free of his odd thoughts and finished getting his music ready for Vanessa.

He opened the door and his eyes collided with big brown ones. He bit back a gasp. This woman was absolutely beautiful. He'd never seen anything like it. "Um… hi. Bella?"

She nodded, a lovely shade of crimson tinting her cheeks. "Yeah. Um… this is Vanessa."

He followed her chocolaty gaze down to a little girl with flaxen hair and doe brown bouncy eyes to match her mother's. He smiled at her, squatting down to see her at eye level. "Hi there, Vanessa. I'm Edward. Are you ready for class today?"

She nodded and a bright grin lit her face. "Uh-huh. Mommy says I'm going to play the piano as good as you!"

He laughed. "It'll take a lot of practice for that, sweetheart. But she's right; you're going to be even better at it than me someday, if you practice."

He eyes lit up at the thought, and she scampered off to find the piano.

He chuckled as she went before turning his gaze back to Bella. She had long, mahogany hair that curled in loose waves to her waist. She had a beautiful, perfectly proportioned body. And the blush on her cheeks was irresistible. Her lips were full and pouty and… _kissable._ He almost groaned at the thought.

"Um…" Bella cleared her throat nervously and he forced himself to look away from the soft skin at the top of her cleavage and up to her face, making sure not to stare at her lips. That blue shirt she was wearing made him wonder why he'd decided to remain celibate for so long; Lauren had nothing on this woman. She spoke again, breaking him free of his dirty thoughts. "I'll be back in an hour, I guess."

He nodded. He needed to get away from this woman. Now. "Yes, that's fine. See you in an hour."

"Okay. Bye now."

"Bye." He watched her get into her car and sighed. Now that he was away from her, he wanted her back. It was insane how much he missed her after just a few short seconds. Oh well. He would just have to teach the girl piano while thinking about having sex with her mother for the next hour. God, that was so wrong.

With another sigh, he followed the sound of his piano and got ready for class.

**E|B**

He was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Bright green eyes, bronze colored hair and cherry red, kissable lips. His t-shirt clung tightly to his perfect abs and biceps. And she noticed how his low rise jeans hugged his butt just right when he turned to see Vanessa in. His forearms were muscular and defined from all his piano playing; his fingers were perfect and his hands were delicate yet strong. He was a god.

And she was Bella. Plain old Bella, whose own damned husband couldn't find the time for her or her child, whose career had tanked after he'd died… plain old Bella with nothing left to give. Plain old Bella who probably never had anything going for her in the first place.

She pulled up to Alice's house, shaking. Alice would kill her; she knew her first impression on him was horrible. She could hardly even speak. She blushed a lot… she was probably still bright red as a steamed lobster.

"Bella! How'd it go?" she took in her appearance. "Uh-oh. Tell me all about it, Bella." She tugged her into the house before she could argue and shoved her onto the couch. "Talk."

"He's absolutely perfect!" Bella spluttered. "How could someone like that want someone like me?"

Alice's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, 'someone like me'?"

"Someone plain and without a life and saddled with a kid he'll never want."

Alice scoffed. "You mean, someone beautiful with a heart of gold and the most charming and intelligent child in Forks?"

Bella sighed. Well, she was right about the last part. Vanessa was her pride and Joy. She was a model student and an excellent athlete. She'd also inherited her mother's love for books and taste in music. She had all of Shakespeare's books in a 'no fear Shakespeare' collection and had read them all.

Her favorite book was _Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry._

"I don't know…"

"I bet he loves you already. You're so insecure, Bella."

"My husband cheated on me then died," she snapped. "I have a damn reason to be insecure."

"I know you loved him, but Mike was a jerk. He didn't deserve you, Bella."

"Who does?" mumbled Bella sullenly.

"Edward does, Bella. Edward does."


	3. Three

_Playlist: there will be a day, jeremy camp _

* * *

She knocked nervously on the door. She was worried about having to see him twice in one day; it couldn't be healthy for her heart.

He opened the door and out scrambled Vanessa. "Mommy! Mr. Edward said I did so good today that I got a lollipop. Can I eat it now? Please? Please, mommy? I'll even practice as soon as I get home."

She laughed her daughter had the best ways of lightening her mood. "After dinner, baby girl."

"Aww, mom!"

"Get in the car, baby. The sooner you have dinner, the sooner you can have your lollipop."

She squealed and ran for the back seat.

Bella laughed and turned to back to Edward. "Thank you."

His answering smile made her dizzy. "Not a problem. She's a good girl, that one. A natural. And great manners too. People don't teach their little brats manners anymore. I'm impressed with her. Good girl."

"Thank you. She's my pride and joy."

He laughed. "She's a beauty. You're gonna have to watch her when she grows up; the boys around here aren't as well mannered as she is."

Bella blushed. "It's a while, yet."

"Less time than you think; they grow fast."

"They do," she agreed.

Edward cleared his throat then, looking rather nervous. "Would you like to stay for dinner instead? I could help Vanessa with her piano and her homework. She had started on it while she was waiting for you."

She stared at him, surprised. "Um… okay. Sure. I hadn't cooked anything yet anyway."

He smirked. "My sister got you, didn't she? Don't mind her." He let her in. "Vanessa, love. Come in," he called. "You're eating dinner here."

**B|E**

He turned to Bella again. "When that pixie gets something in her head…" he shook his head and chuckled.

"She means well."

"That she does. She's got the kindest heart in the world. But she's just… like the energizer bunny."

"Just keeps going and going and going…" they both said together and then they laughed.

"Boy if my sister saw the fun we have at her expense…"

"That's Alice for you."

He smiled. "Yes, she's quite something. Tell me, can I get you anything? Glass of water, juice, wine…?"

"Water is fine, thank you. I have to drive home, you know."

He nodded. "Smart girl." And he disappeared into the kitchen.

Moments later, a man with a white apron came into the living room. "Your water, miss. Dinner will be ready in just a moment, Edward."

"Thank you, Cookie. Oh and…"

"Yes?"

"Would you set two extra places, please?"

"I already did. I knew you would want the lovely young lady for dinner." And he was gone.

Bella watched the man walk into the kitchen. "You have a cook?"

"Um… yes and no. When used to tour, he was my cook. But he had no where to stay, so before I left, I bought him his ticket here. Today is his first day. I'm paying him for his services until he can find a job and place of his own."

"That's kind of you."

"He's a friend. A good friend, one of my most trusted. He's never steered me wrong. Friends do friends favors."

"Where does he want to work?"

"Obviously, something culinary. See, ever since he was young, cooking is all he's had… much like me and my piano. We bonded that way. He would like to work as a cook in a restaurant until he can open one of his own. I'm helping him with that project as well."

"Well I know of a place in Port Angeles that is looking for a new cook. It's far, but if he can find an apartment or home near there…"

"Yes, that's a great idea. I'll have to take him there; he will love the boardwalk."

They stopped speaking then, listening to Vanessa practice her song. Bella looked at him. He was staring distantly toward the sound of the music. "the guilt tears at him sometimes."

"What guilt?"

"His parents were involved in a drunk driving accident, much like your husband was."

She stared, not knowing what to say.

"They didn't die, but they could no longer take care of him; his mother lost her memory, and her husband was paralyzed from the waist down."

"I'm sorry."

"He deals with it. But… one day he was the drunk in a drunk driving accident. A young father and his girlfriend died. That's when he moved to London, four years ago."

"Oh."

"He gets very depressed about it."

"I'm sorry."

"Obviously, he had his license revoked… he spent some time in prison because he drunkenly fled the scene." He cleared his throat. "Cookie spends a lot of time wallowing. Another reason I have him here."

"Um… you never told me, why Cookie?"

"Oh." He laughed. "His name used to be Aro Cucinare before he was adopted by the Volturi family, along with his brother Marcus. Cucinare means cook in Italian. So I call him Cookie. He likes it; he says it reminds him of the good old days."

"Oh. I'm glad he's that comfortable with his past."

"Well we get used to it. My parents, Carlisle and Esme, have been very good to me; when I was younger, they helped me get through the tougher parts of… what happened."

Bella bit her tongue in order to not ask what did happen.

He saw the question in her eyes anyway and sighed. "My parents died in a house fire when I was 16."

She stifled a gasp. "That's terrible."

"Like I said, we deal with it."

"I'm so sorry."

"Me too. But I wound up with the best family I could ask for… they might be overwhelming, but they're good to me and they love me. That's the important thing. I don't complain."

"You're lucky, then." She sighed, suddenly finding her shoes very interesting.

He moved to sit next to her, taking her hands gently in his own. "I'm sorry about your husband. I know your happy ending will come soon."

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "How do you know?"

"I've only known you for an hour and a half, and I already know that if anyone deserves a happy ending, it' you. It's your little girl." He shifted her hand into his other one and then used the free one to catch a tear. "Please don't cry. You don't have to cry anymore. He wouldn't want you to cry anymore. I promise that you'll be happy again someday." I promise, I'll make you happy, he added to himself.


	4. Four

_Playlist: call my name, third day; i'll be there, jackson five; temporary insanity, alexz johnson_

* * *

Dinner was lighthearted and uneventful. He found himself enjoying her company more than he ever thought possible. They got into a heated discussion about Hamlet, in which Vanessa eagerly joined in. He was repeatedly stunned by the knowledge and understanding the beautiful girl had, and was stumped by her logic and by how observant she was. She was truly as amazing as her mother was.

Bella cleared her throat when she saw Vanessa's eyes drooping dramatically. "Methinks 'tis Vanessa's bedtime," she said in a hideous British accent. He laughed as she stood. "Come on, Nessa. Let's go home."

"Don't want to," she mumbled sleepily. "Gotta practice."

They both laughed, then she turned to him. "I had a really nice time, Edward."

"The pleasure was all mine. It was great to meet you." He turned to Vanessa, messing her hair. "Alright, love. Practice, okay? Don't give your mother a hard time."

"Good night, Mr. Edward."

He knelt down in front of her. "You can call me Edward," he whispered conspirationally.

"But mommy says it's bad to call grownups without Mr. or Mrs."

"Unless they say it's okay to, love. And I say that you can call me Edward."

"Okay. Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Vanessa."

She scampered to the car again, and Bella watched her go before turning back to him. "Thank you for everything. Really."

He caught the underlying meaning. "You'll be okay, Bella. You can always call on me."

"But…"

"Any friend of my Pixie's is a friend of mine. This is my cell number…" he pulled a piece of paper from the notepad on the small table next to him. "You can call me when you need me. Any time of the day or night." He reached out intuitively and brushed her cheek, marveling at its warmth and softness. "Good night, Bella. Dream of angels and beautiful things."

She nodded mutely before turning and heading for her car. She turned back to him, staring. He gave her a nod and a small smile and she headed on her way.

"See you next week," he said to no one.

**E|B**

That was the first night she dreamt of Edward Cullen.

**B|E**

The next day he met Alice and Emmett for coffee.

"Hey Pix," he said, hugging her affectionately. "Hey Em." They clapped each other on the back.

Alice went straight to the point. "So what did you think? About Bella, I mean."

He sighed. "Maybe we should have gone to a bar instead."

"What do you think, man? Tell us."

"She's quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he finally spluttered. "God, she's a distraction. She is absolutely perfect…"

Alice giggled. "What makes you say that?"

"I spent the whole piano lesson thinking about her. Her skin, her hair… god, what did you make her wear? I couldn't stop staring at her chest! I wonder if she thinks I'm some horrible pervert now."

"I doubt it," Alice said, recalling that Bella had aid the exact same thing.

"So she's a ten, huh? I told you. Alice is never wrong. You gonna try to hook up with her?"

"Um… I'm still trying to teach her kid piano. It was really difficult not to get… hot… about her with her kid sitting right next to me."

"Damn, you're pathetic."

"I'm not. She's a beautiful woman."

"A beautiful woman you want," interjected Alice triumphantly.

"Yes," he finally admitted humbly. "A woman I want very much."

**E|B**

_Dream of angels and beautiful things._ For days, she played his voice over and over in her head. And she did dream of angels and beautiful things. Because she dreamt of him.

She told herself that she was being pathetic. She told herself that she was doing fine on her own, that she didn't need another man who could hurt her or her child.

But she was lying. She wasn't fine on her own… her melt down earlier that day proved it. She did need a man in her life. To protect her, to take care of her child, to give her the love she needed. She needed to feel _wanted._ Not needed-- she did have a child after all-- but wanted. By _him._

She wanted to see him again. But putting the moves on him would make her look desperate. Not that she wasn't… but she didn't want to look pathetic to him… even though she probably already did. Anyway, she decided that she would let Alice dress her today and drop by his house. She had a good excuse… there was a page in Vanessa's music missing, and it was the only part she hadn't practiced. And there were only four days left until her second class.

After letting Alice fuss and obsess over her clothes, she sat in front of the mirror as Alice did her makeup.

"Wow, you aren't even complaining or asking me if it's too much. You must be desperate."

"Shut up, Alice."

"I won't. Alice is never wrong. I'm gonna gloat about this at your wedding."

Bella choked. "Who the hell said anything about a wedding?! We just met!"

"I know. I know. Look, I know you like him, so I'll let it drop."

"Alice…" Bella stood in front of the mirror and examined her skirt. "The point of coming here was to look decent, not… slutty. Could this skirt be shorter and still be classified as a skirt? Or would it be rubbish?"

"Oh please."

"Alice… I'm not trying to get in his pants."

"Yet."

Bella glared at her through the mirror.

"Fine. How about this?" She pulled out some black skinny jeans.

"Much better. Thanks." She rushed off to change and didn't even look at Alice as she scrambled out the door and into her car.

Upon arriving at Edward's house, she threw the car into park and drew a breath. She got out as calmly as she could and raised her hand to knock. But before she could, there was the Greek god himself. "Bella? Hi… what's up?"

"Hi… um… Nessa's missing a sheet in her music, I was wondering if you could get me a copy of it."

"Sure. Yeah, come in. I'm kind of in the middle of class right now, but you're welcome to sit in the living room." He motioned her in. "Do you have it with you or…?"

"It's right here."

He took it and examined it. "Oh. Oh, I see. I'm sorry, I thought I had made all the copies. I'll be right back." He almost tripped on something brown that streaked into the room. "Damnit, Brownie! Watch where you're going!"

The dog was the picture of shame for a moment before trotting over to Bella and sniffing her. Then she ran off again, returning with a ball.

Edward laughed. "She wants to play. She likes you."

Bella laughed too before taking the ball from her and sitting on the ground to play with her. He returned from the den with her copy in hand, only to find Bella on the floor laughing next to Brownie, who had her goofy grin on her face. Brownie went over and licked Bella's face. Bella slapped her mouth away, still laughing, and got to her knees and saw him. "Hi. Oh god, you're dog is hilarious."

He laughed too, finding her laughter adorable and quite contagious. "Yes, she's something, isn't she? Brownie, Come." The dog obeyed.

"Bring this to Bella."

She took the sheet from Edward's hand and brought it to Bella, setting it at her feet and sitting in front of her. Surprisingly, the sheet was undamaged by teeth marks or slobber. She looked at Edward questioningly. "You taught her that?"

"No, she learned on her own to bring me things. I just had to teach her to do it on a command. I also taught her to find things. She finds my keys, my music… my other sock… you get the picture. But those things are in their nature."

"What do you mean?"

"Pointers are good for hunting. They are great at sniffing things out… and they point in the direction of what you're hunting for, hence the name. They just have a lot of energy, and they need to be taught. She's a good dog." He checked his watch. "Look, I have to get back to class, but stick around; she'll be disappointed if you go. After this, we can go to lunch. I'll tell you about how I acquired her."

"Okay. Can I walk her? She brought me her leash."

He chuckled. "She's upset that I promised to put her out this morning and never did. Yes, you can walk her. I'll catch up after class."

"Okay. See you in a bit."

He stepped toward her and kissed her cheek. "See you in a bit."

Bell just nodded, the sweet scent of him still making her dizzy long after he was gone.


	5. Five

_Playlist: you are loved, josh groban_

* * *

"Was that your girlfriend?"

"No." I wish, he added to himself as he shook his head at the little boy he was teaching.

"Will she be?"

"Maybe one day. Focus."

"She's pretty."

"She is," he agreed. "Very pretty. Now let's get back to class, okay?"

The boy nodded reluctantly and began playing his song again.

"No, no. Try that again. Pay attention to the music, Nathan. What note is that?"

"It's... it's a…" he squinted at the music. "An F," he said victoriously.

"Good. Now play it again, but with the F this time. Follow the music while you play."

And so the class went on and before he knew it, the doorbell rang and Nathan's mother stood ready to bring her son home.

"Hello, Martha."

"Hi. How did he do?"

"He did fairly well… I'd like to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"Nathan makes a lot of mistakes when he plays… I noticed that he has to squint at the music a lot. Does your son wear glasses?"

The young mother looked startled. "No… I always wondered why he hates to practice."

"Nathan? Do you get headaches when you try to read the music?"

The child nodded.

"Yes, it would be advisable for him to see an eye doctor over some glasses."

"Okay. I will do that."

"Good. Now, Nathan. I know that it irritates you to practice, but please do your best, okay? You practice as much as you can."

"I will, Edward," the boy promised. And they were off.

Edward rushed to change into something more comfortable and hustled into his silver Volvo. He had barely pulled out of the driveway when Bella appeared on the sidewalk. He put the car in park and got out to help Brownie and Bella in.

"Hey. Hop in."

"Okay. Where are we going?"

"Get in, Brownie. We're going to the park. We can have hot dogs and ice cream for lunch."

"Sounds like a plan."

Soon they were at the park. After playing with Brownie for a while, they walked over to the hot dog stand and had two hot dogs each.

"Hey!" Bella watched in dismay as Brownie snatched her hot dog off her plate and devoured it. "Bad dog! What the heck?!"

Edward laughed. "I forgot to warn you that she likes to steal food."

"It's not funny."

"I'll buy you another," he said between chuckles. Then he turned to Brownie. "You apologize to Bella for stealing her food."

The dog stared between them intently.

"Now, Brownie."

She trotted over with her tail between her legs and licked Bella's empty hand.

"Aww, she's cute. You're forgiven. But don't do it again," she added sternly.

Brownie hung her head shamefully, whimpering.

"Come on, crazy dog. If you want me to give you a hot dog, you only need to say so."

Brownie barked in offense at Edward's comment before falling into step next to him.

Bella chuckled. "So you promised to tell me how you got her."

"Oh right." He sighed. "It was after my most recent relationship had ended. My fiancée ran off with another man."

"I'm sorry."

"I have crap luck. What can I say?"

"For what it's worth, it was her loss."

He smiled at her. "Thanks."

"So what happened? Was it hers?"

"No. Lauren ran off with this French guy and whose friends were trying to get rid of a bunch of puppies they'd had. She was… well, pretty cheap. A pure breed like her should cost a few grand. I got lonely. They knew about Lauren and Jacques, so they sold her to me for about three hundred pounds out of pity.

"She was so horridly taken care of by those people that I bought her two brothers and one sister off of them as well. I got them cleaned up and took them to a vet. One of them now lives with Rose and Emmett. You know Trip well, don't you?"

"Yeah, I love him. He's a good dog."

"Yeah. The other One I gave to Aro's brother, and the other is there with him, waiting for me to send for him."

"Oh wow. So you have two dogs?"

"Yeah… Brownie and Hazel never got along well… that's because she knows that Brownie is my sort of favorite. My home in London wasn't big enough for the two of them to shell out territories or whatever dogs do. Besides, Brownie sort of bullied her." He paid for their hot dogs and gave Brownie one once they sat down.

"Why Hazel?"

"Hazel is just like Brownie but with bright hazel eyes. Hence the name."

"Why Trip?"

"Emmett named him that because he found it comical that he, when a puppy, would trip and fall over his paws… he's the youngest of them, and he was the most awkward growing up. He was a klutz. I had to work to keep him on his feet all day."

"What about the one Aro's brother has?"

"Oh. That one is my other pride and joy. Marcus actually takes him hunting. He's a beautiful dog. All white with a brown spot on his forehead. Marcus Named him Spot."

"That's cute."

"They kept me occupied for a while while I figure out the pieces of my heart that were left. I loved her a lot."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Um… can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Well, Nessa's birthday is coming up and she's been begging for a puppy."

"You want Hazel," he guessed.

"Yeah. She sounds like a great dog and if she's anything like Brownie, I know she won't bite or anything."

"No, they're all good around people, children especially, what with piano lessons and after parties and things… they've learned to mingle."

"How much would it be?"

"What, for Hazel? Nothing at all. You can have her."

"What? But you…"

"Please." His eyes burned with sincerity. "I know she'll be happier with you than with Marcus or me and Brownie."

Bella sighed. "Alright."

"Good. Now when is Nessa's birthday? I'll have her in by then, hopefully."

"In three weeks. The twenty-third."

"Oh, good, the twenty second is when Marcus is sending her."

"Oh great. Thank you so much."

"No problem. Now for some ice cream."

**E|B**

"May I have two scoops strawberry please? In a cup."

"I'll have one scoop mint chocolate chip. In a sugar cone."

"You like mint ice cream?"

She gave him a surprised look. "Who doesn't?! it's about as epic as cookie dough or cookies and cream."

He scrunched his nose. "I stick to the basics. Strawberry, vanilla…"

"Oh, you're no fun. Can he have cookie dough instead, please?"

The man in the window grinned at their conversation and nodded.

"No, wait…" but the man was gone. "I'm going to hate it," he griped.

"You won't," said Bella confidently.

"I will. Gross! The point of cookie dough is to bake it into cookies!"

"You've obviously never baked cookies before."

"Nope."

"Licking the cookie dough from the bowl is the best part."

"Here's your ice cream."

"Thanks."

Edward contemplated his ice cream. "Are you sure this is good?"

"Positive. Good god, just try it."

"Okay." He took a tiny spoonful into his mouth.

Bella grinned as his features relaxed. "Well?"

"It's… not that bad."

"Told you."

"Hey, this is pretty good."

"You see? And you're not even dying or anything."

He smiled and kept eating his ice cream. "Okay, you win. I'm officially enjoying this."

She grinned up at him.

After a moment, "May I?" he gestured to her ice cream.

"Yeah, sure. By all means."

He dipped his spoon in her cone and brought it to his lips. "Hey, I like yours better than mine!"

She laughed.

"You never told me mint was better than cookie dough."

"You didn't seem very keen on the mint. I had to get your feet wet first."

"Next time, I'll have mint."

She paused. Next time?

He looked down at her, concerned. "What's wrong? Was it something I said?"

"Nothing's wrong… you just… next time?"

"Of course!"

She stared at the grass again. "Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"You want to be with me?" she didn't like how small and pathetic her voice sounded.

"Oh Bella, why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm not good enough."

"That will never be true. Look at me, Bella." She did. He brushed her cheek again, and his thumb brushed her lips. "You are so beautiful," he whispered. "You're strong. And smart, and you're so selfless. You have a beautiful daughter that is smart and talented. How could you not be good enough?" his eyes bore into hers and his warm, sweet breath washed over her face, momentarily forcing her mind to forget the processes that kept her alive: her breathing and her heartbeat. They spun out of control and ultimately stopped altogether as he pressed his lips to her forehead, then to her lips.

"You're always good enough. Always."


	6. Six

_Playlist: only hope, mandy moore OR switchfoot_

* * *

"So… how'd it go?"

"What?"

"Don't look all innocent, Bella Swan. What happened?"

"Alice… I have a lot to think about right now. please don't--"

"If you hang up this phone I will show up at your house and bang on the door until you open it."

"I know."

"Shut up, Bella!"

"Look, I promise I--"

"He told Emmett what happened. I already know."

She sighed. "So why the hell are you calling me?"

"To see if you're okay."

"I'm… shocked. And confused. And he is a freaking great kisser. And he wants me. He actually wants me. No one has actually wanted me before except my parents."

For once, Alice stayed silent.

"I just think it'd be awkward for us to start seeing each other so soon after Vanessa starting classes with him. He agrees. We're going to take it slow. That's all."

"Good girl. Don't have sex with him yet. He's still a bit sensitive--"

"Alice," Bella coughed. "I wasn't planning on it. My husband did _die_, you know. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive too?"

"Good dirl. Now. Emmett said Edward wants to take you out next Friday night. Rose already agreed to sit for you. Now we have to get you a new outfit."

"Alice, I still have tons of stuff with the tags still on it. Can't you just come over and find something in there?"

"Be there in an hour."

"Wait…"

**B|E**

"Hey what's up? Edward, man… are you okay?"

"Let's um… go for a drink, okay?"

"Alright. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. You drive tonight."

"Okay… you only get wasted over girls. Is it Bella?"

"We'll talk about it."

They headed to Rosalie's car, since she insisted that they weren't going to a bar in that gigantic monster Jeep and climbed in. when they got there, Emmett ordered a beer and Edward order Long Island iced tea.

"You aren't wasting any time, are you? What's wrong?"

"I had such an amazing time today. Bella and I took Brownie to the park and we had hotdogs and ice cream and… she was asking me why I wanted to be with her. It's like she thinks she isn't good enough. I don't understand; she's so amazing. Doesn't she see it?"

Emmett shook his head solemnly as the waitress placed their drinks in front of them. "No. Believe me, Alice and I have been trying to get her to date around, have any type of social life at all. We drag her out a lot sometimes hoping maybe she'll see that everyone wants her, and they do. She's probably the most eligible girl in town and doesn't even realize it. She's too afraid of being hurt." He took a swig of his beer.

"Why? What happened?"

"Um… the night Mike died, she caught him having sex with some girl and threw him out of the house. She, uh… always blamed herself for his death. She really did love him, but he was just using her. It was the saddest day ever."

Edward took in what he said.

"Vanessa was only like three or four, but she'd caught her father 'kissing other people' before. He swore her to secrecy, obviously, but she told her uncle Emmett. She said not to tell because then mommy would make him go away."

"Always the perceptive one, that girl."

"Yeah, she's really smart. Anyways, she got close to Alice and I after that. We tried to warn her, but she would not have it. And when it hit the fan… that was such a horrible day. She's still really scarred over it, Edward, give her time.

You see, she was only eighteen when she married him. She went to state college and got a degree while planning the wedding, getting married, taking care of the house and a baby… she finally graduated and got into teaching, but he didn't care. He just spent all his time at his parent's store. He pushed her to marry him and then he just forgot about her, except for at social events. She was a trophy wife, literally. And Vanessa was the trophy kid. You've seen yourself how amazing she is; he made her get into all these sports since she could walk, but never once showed up to any of her games."

"That's so sad…"

"Bella has a hard time with her self esteem as it is without that bastard completely ruining her life. When he died, she had to take over the store. She loathes that place, she wants to sell it and move the hell out of Forks. It's like it haunts her."

"You can't let her leave," he blurted rather drunkenly, as he was on his third iced tea.

"We won't. She really wants you, Edward. She just isn't sure of herself."

"So make her!"

"Don't you think she's tired of people making her?"

Edward blinked as the words hit home. "What do I do?"

"Keep doing whatever it is you did today; when I saw her, she was glowing. And confused, but glowing."

"That's cuz I kissed her. She's very pretty. Her lips are soft. I like kissing her. I want to do it again."

Emmett chuckled at his brother's drunken remarks. "You really kissed her?"

"Yup," he hiccupped before ordering his fourth round. "I kissed her. It was perfect. Thank you, lady." He downed the drink and was about to order another, But Emmett stopped him.

"NO way, brother. You're done for today. You're gonna get sick as it I anyway."

"But I wasn't done talking to you…"

"So we can still talk. But no more drinks, okay?"

"Yessir," he saluted, still drunk. He missed his eyebrow, though, and wound up saluting somewhere near his ear.

Emmett sighed. "Okay. Tell me exactly what happened."

"We were walking and she forced me to try this new kind of ice cream… I really liked it. And then I tried some of hers, and I liked it better. And then I told her next time I'd have some of hers, but she got all sad. She was asking if I really wanted to be with her and why and she kept saying she wasn't good enough, so I told her she was wrong and then I kissed her. And I kissed her again when she was going to go home. I think she likes it when I kiss her. Maybe I will take her out next Friday just so I can kiss her again."

Emmett laughed. "You should take her out, little brother. Show her a good time."

"I will. I'm in love with her, Emmett."

"You always fall so fast, little brother," Emmett sighed. "You always wear your heart on your sleeve. Please be careful, okay? She wants you, but I don't want you to be hurt if she pulls back. She needs time."

"I can give her all the time she wants. I'm not going anywhere until she's with me. And then I'll just have to take her with me because I don't want to be without her. And we'll be a family; her, Vanessa, and me. Maybe we can have more babies. More little girls with her eye and her lips and when they get old, I'll have to keep a bat by the door to keep the boys away."

Emmett laughed again, then grew serious. "I hope it turns out that way. For both your sakes."


	7. Seven

_Playlist: dare you to move, switchfoot_

* * *

She opened the door and standing there was a bronze haired, green-eyed god wearing a hunter green polo shirt and khaki pants. The shirt made his eyes sparkle in emerald and forest green hues. She also noticed then the flecks of gold near his irises that made his eyes shine brighter. He was practically bouncing with excitement. "Hello. Ready to go? You look so beautiful. Wow, you really do look _so _beautiful. you're an angel. Come on, our reservations are in twenty minutes."

She had to laugh at his enthusiasm. "Thank you. Yeah, I just need my jacket."

"Okay." She motioned to him and he followed, still bouncing.. "Hi, Rose."

"Hey. Have fun, you two."

**B|E**

The door opened, and there was an angel standing there with chocolate hair that was swept into a bun, a few soft tendrils hanging in loose curls around her face and at the base of her neck. She was wearing a dress in that amazing deep blue that made her eyes sparkle in hues of chocolate. Blue and silver dangling earrings and a matching necklace accented the pale soft skin around them. He could feel the excitement course through him at the thought of keeping her. Forever. Isabella Cullen. Oh, the name fit the angel in front of him. "Hello," I greeted as calmly as I could. "Ready to go? You look so beautiful." it struck him again how angelic she looked. "Wow, you really look so beautiful. You're an angel," he breathed, before the excitement took over the sudden need to touch her, coursing through him again. "Come on, our reservations are in twenty minutes!"

She laughed. "Thank you. Yeah, I just need to get my jacket."

"Okay." She motioned him in behind her. "Hi Rose."

She smiled at him. "Hey. Have fun, you two."

"I will," he smiled back. He couldn't even recognize the emotions running through him. He felt like a teenage swooning fangirl, not a twenty-nine year old man who was looking to settle down with a woman. He followed her out, his eyes not missing the perfect way her hips swayed as she walked, our the delicious, creamy skin of her long legs.

She turned back. "Make sure Vanessa gets to bed on time!"

"I know," Rosalie called back. "I've babysat before, Bella Swan."

Cullen, he corrected to himself. There was the swooning fangirl again. He wouldn't be surprised if he had a diary entry with Bella Cullen written all over it. He opened the car door for her and she shyly smiled her thanks to him. Soon they were on their way. He tried to be the perfect gentleman for her, holding the door and pulling out her chair, letting her order first… he felt like he was failing. He didn't know why.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Are you… I mean… never mind."

"No. Tell me. It's okay."

"I just… I can see you're trying to make an impression. Not that I mind you being a perfect gentleman, I'd just rather you be yourself."

She looked surprised when he smirked. "And if I happen to always be a perfect gentleman?"

She smiled, her apprehension disappearing. "Then by all means."

"Talk to me about you, Bella."

She was taken aback. "Um… I guess there's not much to say. At least, that Alice hasn't already told you."

He laughed. "Okay, tell me something Alice doesn't know."

She sighed. What didn't Alice know? "Well… Alice doesn't know that I'm a hopeless romantic."

He laughed again. "She swears you've become a cynic since… well, you know." He got a bit awkward.

"You can say it you know," she said softly. "I'm tougher than I look."

"I just… I hate to see you hurt."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"SO let me ask this, why does Alice seem to think you're a horrid cynic?"

"Because after Mike died, I kind of became focused on getting my daughter through it; I gave up on my career and my social life to take over Mike's business and to take care of my baby."

He watched her closely. "What about you?"

She shrugged, confused. "What about me?"

"When did you grieve? When did you move on? When did you let go?"

"When my daughter slept."

How wrong she was. Just this past lesson, Vanessa had asked if she could learn a song to play for mommy when she cried at night. He stayed silent.

"But you never dated again?"

"No. But… don't let this go to your head either… but, I'm glad I've been getting to know you this way."

"Me too," he said softly, his voice full of emotion. "Me too."


	8. Eight part One

_Playlist: temporary insanity, alexz johnson; someday, nickelback; by your side, tenth avenue north; enough, barlow girl._

* * *

He must have dreamt last night. That was the only explanation for the fact that there was an angel in his arms right then. Sleeping peacefully, her soft, even breath caressing his skin. She fit in his arms perfectly, he marveled as her eyes fluttered open and she awoke. "Good morning," he said softly.

She looked confused and a little bit upset. "Hi."

He read the panic in her eyes and saddened. "What's wrong?" even thought he knew the answer…

"Vanessa," she breathed. "Oh no…"

"It's okay," he soothed. "Rosalie is taking good care of her."

"But--"

"Shh, you rest now. I'll make breakfast." He got up and left the room, retrieving his boxers and some jeans as he went. He made a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast. He also fried up some bacon. Cookie had personal business to attend to, or so he said. Edward had the feeling that Cookie wasn't up to being around during last night's activities.

He had to admit, it was the best night of his life. He'd never felt as complete as he did then. The euphoria he always had when he was with her magnified itself until it could hardly be contained. And by all the gods, what the hell did Alice make her wear?! She was simply irresistible with her clothes on, never mind with just that skimpy lace number she had on. He might have actually torn it in his haste.

"Edward?"

He smiled cheerfully. "Breakfast," he announced as he swung around to find Bella sitting on one of the barstools in his sweat pants, one of his t-shirts, and long, curly, wet hair. "Hello, beautiful."

She blushed. "Hi. Thanks."

He kissed her cheek as he walked by her. "Welcome."

They ate in silence for a while before Bella looked up at him, anxious.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"What does… _this_… mean for us?"

"Whatever you want it to mean, Bella. I'm attracted to you. I like you. I might even love you. I know you feel this too. But if you want to back up and take it slow, that's okay with me."

She sighed. "I don't want to take it slow anymore. I'm tired of slow."

"Are you sure? I mean… rushing into--"

"Edward, we're beyond the rushing into things," she snapped. She relented. "I'm sorry. I just… last time I let myself be carried away by my feelings, it didn't end so well."

"I know, Bella. I'm sorry about your husband's death. But if we're going to work, you have to let the past go."

Anger exploded inside her.

"Bella… please, don't be angry. I just… I don't want competition that's… well, dead."

"You think he's competition? I have a newsflash, Edward Cullen. He's no competition. I fell for you. I fell hard. My trust issues have nothing to do with _him_."

"They don't?" He challenged.

She looked away. His eyes had already seen everything, though; it was a wasted effort. But his eyes were so hypnotic, so inviting…

"I'm not angry at you, Bella. I understand."

"Do you?" she asked, hurt and anger shining from the tears in her eyes. "Do you know what it's like to love someone more than everything, to give your heart, body, and soul to them only to have them treat you like a leper?"

He reached for her, her tears and pain cutting him to the core.

"Do you know what feels like when the person you love the most won't even look at you? when they reject your daughter so coldly and openly?"

He was silent while she ranted. Taking their plates, he put them in the sink and led her into the piano room, sitting her on the loveseat. "Let it all out, Bella."

She clung to him, sobbing. "He was with that skank on the couch when I came home that night. I let Nessa in… she came back confused. I'll never forget what she said. 'Mommy, there's a lady kissing daddy on the couch.' And when I looked… next to Alice, she was my best friend!"

"Tell me, Bella," his hypnotic voice soothed. "Just let it all out, love. I'm here, I won't let you go."

"She was taking his shirt off!" she finally admitted, her indignation clear in her voice. "She was in nothing but her panties ad bra, and he had his hands all over her! He…"

"What?" he whispered.

"He said he loved her," she whispered, and the torrent of tears came.

Edward held her while she sobbed and choked out the rest of her story. How Mike Newton abused her love and her trust, how he wasn't even ashamed of himself in front of his daughter. How he screamed at her that night, telling her he never wanted her, that she was only for sex, and because everyone in town liked her, he needed her to enhance his image. How she angrily threw him out. How he tenderly wrapped his coat around Jessica's shoulders and led her out to the car. How she was still crying and blubbering all over Alice and Emmett when the police officer knocked.

"And the funny thing is, the officer was about to leave. He said he was sorry for our loss. When we asked what loss, he said, 'I thought you knew. Michael Newton and his friend were killed in an accident involving a drunk driver.' Emmett actually slammed the door in his face."

"Oh Bella." It was all she could say.

"How could he do that to us?" she wailed. "I loved him! And now he's gone… I'll never understand. Why is it that I'm not good enough for anyone anymore?"

"That's not true," he protested indignantly.

"It is. No one loves me," she lamented.

"Your daughter does," he whispered. She loves you so much. Do you remember what you said last night? About grieving? Did you know that Vanessa asked me to teach her a song to play you when you cry at night?"

She stopped sobbing and looked up at him, startled. "What?"

"She gets so afraid when you cry, Bella. She's scared. She wants you to be happy so much. God, that little girl loves you. And here, you think to hide these things from her. She knows it all, Bella, and she loves you anyway."

"She really asked you that?"

"Yeah."

"What else does she say about me?"

"That you're very pretty. And that you take better care of her than her daddy ever did."

She sniffled. "Always the perceptive one, that girl. I'd see the hurt in her eyes everytime she'd ask him to go to one of her games and he'd say no. and I'd think, 'God please, let him hurt me all he wants, but not my baby. Not my little girl.' But each night he'd come home, and shed run into his arms as if he'd always loved us."

"Imagine her love for him, who didn't deserve it. How much more can she love you, Bella, the one that has always given her everything she needs? What about Alice and Emmett? Do they not love you too? What about your father?"

She sniffed, but stayed quiet. "See? There are so many people who love you all around you. That he didn't was his loss. And I… I love you too, Bella. I've been hurt in my life so much. But I've found that if I let it go, the pain goes away and I can love again."

She looked up at him questioningly.

"Her name was Lauren," he explained. "When I proposed to her, another man did. Another man she'd been with since before she met me. But she said yes to me, claiming that she loved me and we'd be together forever. Well the man got an opportunity in France. When I got home after tour, the engagement ring along with all the other stuff I'd given her were on my dresser. There was a note explaining how he was poor, and he wanted her to find someone to take care of her until he could himself. That unfortunate bastard was me.

I was heartbroken for so long. The note wasn't even dated, and I had no clue how long she'd been gone. Looking for her would have been useless. Except of course, those friends of ours that sold me Brownie and company. If it weren't for them, I might never have had any closure."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. What on earth would I do if I were in love with you and married to her? It might surprise you, but I would not stoop to your former husband's level."

"Why would it surprise me? You've been nothing but kind to me since you moved here."

He flushed red. "The tabloids in Europe… haven't been very forgiving of my female company since Lauren left me. I never slept with any of them , but…"

"Well the Rumor Mill never gets it right."

"Speaks the voice of experience?"

"Yeah. When they died, they found her phone. The last twenty calls were between them. And the twenty calls before that were between her and Tyler Crowley. Who was supposed to be with someone else.

"As it turns out, Crowley is a mechanic. Jessica wanted to go on a white water rafting trip with someone else. She needed to get her car fixed. She needed equipment. So mike and Tyler were on her recent calls. But what people don't know is that Mike had some business trip planned for that same weekend and that Crowley works in Port Angeles. People don't know what to believe."

"Well we have each other now. that's enough for me"

"I'm glad. Because it's enough for me too."


	9. Eight part Two

_playlist: daughters, john mayer_

* * *

She still took his breath away every time she opened the door. She was absolutely beautiful. today, she had a black rock band tee and skinny jeans. Her hair was in a playful ponytail. He decided to tease her. "Hardly appropriate business attire, Miss Swan."

She laughed. "I could say the same, Mr. Cullen."

Only then did he realize he was still wearing his pajama pants and a black wife beater; he'd been sick the past couple days. "Oh," he said lamely. "I guess I set myself up for that."

She laughed again. It was the best sound he'd heard since the weekend. Back then, she'd been saying his name…

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He batted her hand away from his face.

"You have a fever."

"I'm okay."

"Don't you lie to me, Edward Cullen. I don't like liars." She pushed her way into the house. "Vanessa, honey? Edward doesn't feel very well. Why don't you go practice what he's taught you while mommy takes care of him, okay?"

"Okay!" she dashed off into the piano room. They followed close behind. Edward was forced to lay down on the couch and subject himself to her touch as she examined him. It was a form of torture that should be illegal.

She was off, claiming to have to get him medication and ingredients for soup. Edward closed his eyes and listened to her daughter play. She was catching on quickly. If he pushed her hard enough, she could be a prodigy.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love."

"Are you in love with mommy?"

He coughed, choking on air and sputtering. He coughed again as he righted himself. "What makes you say that?"

"Mommy was telling Auntie Alice that she's in love with you."

"She said that?"

"Yeah."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't want her to fall in love."

"Why not?"

"Because then he'll leave us like my old daddy."

"Honey, I won't leave your mum."

"But he did! They all do!"

"What do you mean, 'they all do'?"

"Auntie Alice used to make mommy go out with boys… mommy said that they never wanted to stay with her."

"Well they don't deserve your mum, love."

"But you do?"

"I like to thinks so, yes. Your mum is very beautiful and talented. She's a good mother and she's very generous. To answer your question, yes, I love your mum. Very, very much."

"You aren't going to stop loving her and go away, are you?"

"No."

"What about me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Mommy cries sometimes because daddy didn't want me. She says that the boys she goes out with don't want me either."

"Well they don't know what they are missing."

"But… you won't leave mommy on account of me?"

"No. if I didn't want you, do you think I'd still teach you how to play all those wonderful songs?"

She looked down at the piano. "I guess not." She began to play again and he relaxed back into his laying position.

She stopped again. "Are you gonna marry mommy now?"

He sat up coughing and sputtering again.


	10. Nine

_Playlist: supermassive black hole, muse; fade to black, alexz johnson; sarah, tyler kyte; let it be, paul mccartney; if i should stay, alexz johnson_

* * *

"Hello, Miss Bella."

"Hi…um, forgive me, I forgot your name."

"You can call me Cookie." He led her into the dining room.

"Hi Bella."

"Hi Edward—oof!" the air rushed out of her as Brownie tackled her, covering her with kisses. "Okay, okay. Get off, Brownie—ouch!"

"Brownie!" Edward growled.

The dog stopped her attack and sulked toward him with her tail between her legs. Edward squatted down to her level. "Brownie, how many times have I told you that it is rude and scary to jump on our guests?! Out, Brownie," he said sternly.

She whined and trotted into the piano room.

Edward sighed as she watched her go. "Stupid dog," he muttered. "Are you alright?"

Bella sat up, rather dazed. "I'm fine. I think. God, she's heavy." She grinned up at him. "Edward, quit worrying." Cookie gave her a hand up and she thanked him, frowning when she actually got a good look at his face. He seemed familiar, but…

"Bella, let's get you into a seat." He led her into the dining room and pulled out her chair. "Have a seat."

"Okay. Um… tell me about yourself, Cookie."

"Um… well, my adoptive family hails from Italy, but I was born in England. I split my time between here and there until… something bad happened, and I moved to England."

Edward sighed. "Aro, you don't have to say--"

"It's okay. I'm fine. I was drunk, and I collided with a man and his girlfriend. I was too drunk, so I didn't even really notice that they were hurt and I had to stay. I went to prison, I got out on Probation… when that was over, I moved. I was so ashamed of what I'd done.

"I met Edward on tour there… I didn't really have a job… I started out as a butler, but then we both agreed I did better in the kitchen." He chuckled ruefully. "I'm sorry. My story is rather depressing. My parents weren't very fond of their drunk, convict son… when I came back, I had nothing except Edward. I'm thoroughly ashamed of ruining that man's life over my drunkenness. I haven't been able to drink again."

"I'm sorry… um, I guess that's a good thing, drinking is bad for you. My husband was killed in a drunk driving accident." Her cell phone. "Excuse me. Hello?"

"Tell your daughter it's bedtime. Jasper wants to watch a movie."

"Watch a movie, huh? She snickered. "Put her on."

"Hi mommy."

"Go to bed, baby girl."

"But—"

"Vanessa Newton, your mother told you to do something."

"Yes mommy," she grumbled. "Night."

"Goodnight, baby. I love you."

"Yeah, yeah." And the phone was passed off to Alice.

"By Alice. Have fun with the _movie_."

"Oh I will," she giggled before hanging up. She turned back to the table. "I'm sorry, Nessa was being stubborn."

Cookie was pale as death.

"Cookie, what's wrong?"

Edward stood in concern. "Aro. Hey, maybe you should take off tonight, I'll cook."

He shook his head. "No. I will—it can't be. It can't be."

"What can't be, Aro? What is going on?"

"Did she—Vanessa _Newton_?"

Bella nodded, confused. "Yeah, that was my married name."

He paled further. "You weren't his girlfriend, though… I don't understand."

"What?" Bella looked between him and Edward. "Edward?"

"He was married… he had a child… oh God… oh my God, it's not possible."

"What the hell is going on?!"

"Did they ever catch him? The one who k-killed your husband."

"Yeah, outside Seattle. I never saw him though. Just from far away at the trial."

"It was me," he whispered, then he fled.

**B|E**

He swallowed hard as Bella's face changed from confused to horrified to hurt to angry.

"Did you know about this?" she seethed, her voice hardly about a whisper. Part of his mind noted how glorious she was when she was angry

"N-no, I knew about the accident, but I didn't know it was—"

"Don't lie to me, Edward."

"I'm not lying, I just--"

"How could you do this?! How could you sit here and say you want me, that you love me and my baby when you're living with the man who _murdered her father?!"_

He flinched. "I had no clue, Bella, I swear."

"Don't. Touch. Me."

"Bella," he pleaded.

"Leave me alone! Don't ever talk to me again!"

"Bella, what about--?"

"Oh, and don't expect Nessa back. Ever." And she was gone.

He collapsed back into the seat I shock. What had just happened? One minute he's having a private dinner with the love of his life, and the next she was screaming that she never wanted to see him again. "Bloody hell," he whispered, tears filling his eyes. He picked up his phone. "Emmett," he barely whispered. "I need you… please, I—"

"Whoa, bro. what's going on?"

"Bella—I think it's over. She's gone," he whimpered pathetically.

"Oh. Oh crap. I'm on my way."

He hung up the phone and promptly throwing it across the room. Then he crumbled into a pathetic heap, sobbing on the floor. He didn't understand what was going on. He had only known her for three and a half months but hopefully that was long enough for her to know he would never keep something that hurtful from her. He honestly loved her with every fiber of his being. The thought made him sob again.

That was how Emmett found him, sobbing pathetically on the floor. "Dude… what is going on… get, come on, get up off the floor. Come on. Talk to me. What happened?"

"I don't know," he said between sobs and gasps for air. "She was talking to Cookie—he said that he was the one that caused her husband's accident and she was upset and—she thought I knew and so she left me." He sobbed again. "I swear to God, I if had known it was him, I would have said something, I would have—I don't know, anything not to make her go. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I didn't know and—"

Emmett was so confused and honestly scared, that he called Rosalie and they hauled him over to their house, where he fell asleep, dreaming of her.

**E|B**

"Where's Bells?"

"She's moping upstairs."

She heard Emmett coming up the stairs, his heavy footfalls causing her tears to fall faster.

The door cracked open and Emmett's head poked around the door. "Can I come in?"

She sniffled and nodded.

"Bells… I love you a lot. I really do. You're the coolest little sister ever—don't tell Alice that—but honestly, I've never seen my brother cry as hard as he did yesterday."

"I just… I can't believe he didn't tell me."

"Did it ever occur to you that he might actually not have known?" now he was angry. "God, Bells! Be dense all you want, but don't drag my brother into it!"

She stared at him bewildered. "But—Cookie—he killed Mike! He kept saying things. 'Don't say anything' or 'you don't have to talk about this'—how could he not have known—oh God, Emmett, don't be mad."

He sighed and sat down next to her, pulling her into his crushing embrace. "I'm not mad, it's just—he was literally choking on his sobs—he didn't even cry like that when the Slut left him. He's currently in my house throwing up his guts."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "He probably hates me now. What if he won't take me back?"

"He will. Come on."

"Wait—if he's sick…"

"He's lovesick. Literally. After he fell asleep he started throwing and Rose spent the whole night playing nurse."

The motherly side of her took over and she jumped for her keys. "Take him to my house."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

She watched him sleep fitfully, his stomach clenching instinctively and sweat pouring down his god like face. She didn't know what to think. Being without her made him physically ill. She couldn't stand that she'd hurt him that much.

His eyes shot open and he reached for her blearily. "Bella," he breathed.

"I'm here. I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't mean to make you sick, I just—"

He shook his head, sitting up a little. "Not your fault," he barely managed before dashing for the bathroom again. He was only dry heaving.

"Edward… maybe you should see a doctor."

He shook his head, heaving violently again. "No way. My dad will kill me—"

She stood up. "Maybe it's him you need to see."

He grabbed her arm. "No! please—I'll be fine. Just stay with me, okay? I'll be okay if you don't leave."

She knelt next to him. "I'm here, okay?"

He nodded and let her pull him close.

"But I'm still calling your dad."

"Wait! Bella--"

**B|E**

"Is he okay?"

"He's going to be okay."

"I told you, Bells."

"Edward, go back to sleep, okay?"

"Uh-uh."

"Edward," said Carlisle sternly. "You need rest. I promise you that Bella will be here waiting when you wake up, okay?"

He sighed and plopped back against the pillows, grumbling under his breath about her and his dad ganging up on him.

Bella grinned at him and kissed his cheek. Her smile was always brilliant, he mused.

"Just call me back if he starts acting up."

"Yessir. Thanks, Carlisle."

"NO problem, Bella. Do you think I could have a word with Edward?"

She nodded and Edward swallowed hard. He knew this was coming. "So… Dad…"

"So, Edward. You're in love with that girl, are you?"

He nodded.

"Edward… I have known Bella for a long time. I was operating on her husband. He died under my scalpel, Edward. She isn't ready for you to be in love with her."

"But…"

"Give her time. She is probably very afraid right now and sorry that she caused you pain. She might pull back. She might do pretty much anything. Women are very volatile, you know."

"Oh I know. One minute she was fine, the next Cookie was confessing to Newton's death, and the next the whole thing was my fault. I honestly had no clue what was going on. I just know he feels really horrid about what he did all those years ago."

"I know you're a fragile heart, Edward. Just keep in mind that she is too."

He nodded as his father turned to go. It hadn't been as bad as he thought.

"Edward… you haven't slept with her, have you?"

Nevermind.

* * *

**A/N: sorry it's taken forever plus one to post. i had some major writer's block with this story, but I think I know what I want now, so stay tuned. Plus, the stupid uploader was rejecting my documents. But I'm back in the game now, I promise.**

**if you're wondering why i picked the muse song, pay a****ttention to the lyrics. the lyrics are kind of a what's going through bella's head thing... yeah. the rest i think you all can figure out. **

**hope you enjoyed and as always, **

**cheers!**

**~temporary insanity**


	11. 10

_Playlist: when i go down, relient k; the best thing, relient k; what a wonderful world, joey ramone_

* * *

"Um..." he looked away from his dad. "Dad, I... that's personal."

"You did."

He blushed. "I... maybe..."

"Oh Edward," he tsked. "Always getting in over your head."

"Well maybe I like being in over my head with her. She's everything to me."

"Edward, please just don't forget how hurt she is right now. She was in no way ready to face er husband's killer... no matter how regretful he is. She wasn't ready for you to know him either. She loves you Edward, but honestly, she's over her head too. You can't save her if you're both drowning."

He sighed. "How do I convince her I never meant to hurt her?"

"For one, stop sleeping with her. For another, just talk to her. She's calmed down considerably."

"Dad, for the love of god, it was only once, and like I said, that's personal. Next... you really think she'll believe me?"

He sighed and nodded.

"And you know I don't just 'sleep with' girls."

He sighed again and nodded.

"Cool. So that means you can butt out of my sex life."

Carlisle swallowed hard. Nodding for a third time. "I just hate to see you hurt. Either of you. And sex will not help the situation."

"You're lecturing me. I got the birds/bees talk when I was ten. I'm going on thirty."

Carlisle shrugged, a bit sheepish. "Maybe I'm lecturing you a little bit. I just--"

"Just for that, I'm going to screw her senseless the minute you walk out that door--"

"LA LA LA LA LA okay, Edward, I'm gone. Feel better, son. Take care of her." And he hurried out of the room.

"Umm... Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Carlisle was muttering about condoms on his way out. What did you say to him?" Bella walked back into the room with one eyebrow cocked in amused confusion. Her voice was a mixture of amusement and suspicion.

"I don't want to talk about that."

"He was asking about us, wasn't he?"

"He is like that with all of us. Especially Alice. God, he drove Alice and Jasper up the wall until they got married. Alice complained all the damn time. I'm sort of glad that the whole Lauren fiasco happened overseas."

She chuckled.

"What?"

"Nothing. Emmett... calls her the slut."

"He was pretty pissed about it. More than I was. I mean, I didn't deserve what she did to me, but I did my best to get over it. He on the other hand... okay, he has a whore-meter. Lilith, the myth of the ancient Hebrews about the beautiful woman who feasted on souls, is like the Ultimate Slut of Doom or something. Lauren is like half a point behind her, the Sell-out Man-eating Whore of Eternal Damnation." She laughed and he shrugged. "Ask him how it works."

"Emmett is quite something, isn't he?"

"He is. But he's my brother, so I have to deal with him capping on my x-box."

She raised an eyebrow. "You have an x-box?"

He grinned. "Oh yeah. I was quite the heart breaker during high school, didn't you know?"

"You're lying."

"Well, there was this girl Jessica... my freshman year. It was over in like a month. Then... okay, you win. That was the extent of my high school dating experience until senior year when I danced with the cheer leading captain at senior prom. I had six dances with her, and she kissed my cheek at the end of the night."

She sat down on the bed, running her hands lovingly through his hair. He reveled in the feeling. "I don't understand," she murmured. "You're so beautiful. How could people not want you."

His brows wrinkled in confusion. "Beautiful?"

She blushed. She was totally adorable when she did that, he mused. He decided he would make her blush at least once a day. "Um... the first time I saw you, I thought I had the wrong house... until you said Nessa's name. um... I was really shocked. I just... I thought you were some type of European male model or something. I couldn't get over how perfect you are." She chuckled ruefully. "Alice intercepted me just as I was about to have hyperventilating indignant low self-esteem conniption fit."

He smiled at her. "I was having one of those myself. I often wonder what I did to deserve you."

"Me too."

"Are you still mad at me?"

She shrugged.

"Bella... I swear, with God as my witness, I had no clue that he was the one that killed your husband. Please believe me?" he took both of her hands. "Please, Bella. Honestly, if I knew he was the one, I would have done something. Said something. I don't know."

"Really?"

"I might have been scared," he admitted sheepishly. "I fell pretty hard for you, Bella. I don't think you would have stuck around if I told you I was best friends with the guy who killed your husband."

She chuckled. "Probably not."

"Will you stick around now?"

She stared at him.

"Please. I'm all he has. He lost everything because of that accident and believe me, he's never forgiven himself for it. I can't just leave him."

"Not even for me?"

He sighed. "You know I would do anything for you."

"If I asked you to make him leave?"

"I'd help him find some place else to stay. He probably wouldn't cook for me anymore, but I can cook. He's just there as a courtesy. I'd have to find him a job. But I could let him go. What I can't do is leave him to fend for himself."

"What if I could help him?"

He raised his eyebrows, surprised.

"You said he wanted to open a restaurant. I've been wanting to close Newton's for some time now, but I need an income. If he can use the place and turn it into a restaurant, he'd owe the rent to me. I could cut him some type of deal, so he won't have to pay so much as his restaurant is opening. That way, he can have his job and I can be rid of that place."

"If that's what you want, my love, that's what we'll do. I'll work it out with Cookie as soon as I can get home."

"No... I want to talk to him myself."

He raised his eyebrows again.

"Look," she explained, I'm probably the impersonation of all the demons of the underworld to him, here expressly to torment him with his guilt. If I can convince him that I'm not angry with him anymore, maybe he'll loosen up a little."

"He saw how upset you were..."

"Okay. Maybe because, as much of an asshole as Mike was, he didn't deserve to die and my daughter needed him. I love you now. Him, I'm over. If I can convince him that, maybe he won't be so guilty."

He sighed, letting her hand go so she could play with his hair again. "You amaze me more and more everyday."

She grinned, and it made him dizzy. "Did we have our first fight just now?"

He shrugged. "I guess. I didn't like it."

She sighed. "Me neither. I don't think Rose was very keen on you puking up your guts all over her carpet either."

"Let's not fight anymore, okay?"

She sighed, her hand moving from his hair and cupping his cheek instead. "I can't promise that we won't fight. I do promise that I won't leave you if we do. It sucked to leave you."

"It did, did it?"

She smacked his arm. "You're cocky as hell, aren't you?"

He grinned at her, unrepentant.

She kissed him hard, effectively taking the smug smirk off his face. When they parted, she gave him a smug look of her own. "That's what I thought. Now I really am going to ask you to help him find a place of his own... just cuz none of us want his awkwardness when you're, quote, 'screwing me senseless'." He gulped and her smirk grew. "I'm going to find him. I don't know where he is, but you better hope he's been feeding your dog."

"Oh no! Brownie!" he shot out of bed and down the hall after her.

* * *

**A/N: x-box in this context is not a game, lol. it is actually a term from my tween years that basically means you have so many girlfriends that you, well, need a box to fit their names in. or, you've slept with so many people that you'd need a box of paper to write them all down. or other things that would require a whole box. you all get the picture. it basically means you're a whore.**

**and if you're wondering, no, i don't have an x-box. i don't play x-box either.**

**TEEHEE!**


	12. Eleven

_playlist: daughters, john mayer; wake me up when september ends, green day; when i go down, relient k; where does it hurt, alexz johnson; enough, barlow girl_

* * *

"Well hello you," he grinned brightly as Vanessa jumped into his arms. "How are you, missy?"

She giggled as she released him. "Good."

"Did you practice?"

She flushed and looked away. "Well..."

He raised an eyebrow at her mother, who sighed. "I'm sorry. She had three soccer games this week, to which you were invited and did not come."

He sighed as he righted himself and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry. I had classes Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday until eight. I couldn't go. Did she get any practice at all?"

"One day, for like an hour."

He sighed. "Oh, alright. I'm really sorry, Bella."

"I know. I just... in her mind, it's just like... _him._"

"Well how about this: I will take you both out to dinner tonight. We can go to Friendly's. And next time there is a game for her, let me know a bit more in advance so I can cancel the classes and the plans. Fair enough?"

Bella nodded.

"Is that alright for you, princess?"

Vanessa nodded. "Okay."

"Good. Lets get class started, okay? Where is you music?"

She hurriedly pulled her music binder out of her back-pack and scampered into the piano room. Edward chuckled. "She's always excited for class." he listened to her play her music for a moment before turning to Bella. "Vanessa has a lot of potential. If it's alright with you, I want to start teaching her more hours. I think that an hour twice a week is good. She could be Virtuosa within the year if I push her enough. If that's alright with you. But she would have to practice very much."

Bella studied her hands. "It is, except that she still has her sports."

"I know. It's a very precarious balance. Is she still doing well in school?"

She grinned. "Better, actually. She is determined to fit all of this into her schedule and make the grade. Ill have to ask her if she wants to cut one sport and take up piano full time. She loves soccer and gymnastics. Gymnastics also takes up a lot of her time. I'll talk to her." she turned to go.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Home. Nessa just came from gymnsatics and she hates going out with her gym clothes on. I'm going to bring her change of clothes."

"Okay, but what about me?"

"What about you?"

"Don't I get a goodbye kiss?"

Bella chuckled. "No."

"No?! Why not?" He was actually alarmed.

"Just kidding," she snickered. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss. "I love you. Be back soon."

"Love you too, honey. Be safe." he watched her go and then turned to start class, upset with himself for wasting fifteen minutes.

**E|B**

After Nessa's class, she went into the bathroom to change out of her leotard and then they piled in Edward's Volvo and headed for Friendly's.

When they got there, Nessa immediately went for the dessert menu.

"No, Nessa. Food first."

She looked up at him in surprise, while Nessa pouted. "But Edward..."

"Nessa, what would you like to eat?" he asked, effectively closing the topic for conversation.

She frowned. "Fine. I'll have a hot dog and waffle fries."

He smiled at her. "Good girl. Now what would you like to drink?"

"Apple juice."

He looked up at Bella, confusion in his eyes. "Her coaches discourage drinking soda."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Their dinner was uneventful after that, and Nessa fell asleep in the car on their way home.

"So..." she broke the silence first.

"So."

"It was interesting to see you go all fatherly on Nessa today."

"What, you don't like it?"

"On the contrary. It suits you."

He sighed and stared back at the road. "When I have a family of my own, I'll think about that."

"I know, I just... I want you to know I'm not mad."

He smiled at her. "I want to be good for her. Like I want to be good for you."

"You are. She adores you."

he stared ahead. "I'm glad. That's all I want."

She touched his hand. "I love you." she wondered what happened that made him suddenly brood.

He smiled at her. "You too, Bella. And Nessa. I want her to like me."

"Edward... what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You can tell me."

"No," he said, and she noticed his voice cracking. "I can't."

"Don't cry," she whispered, tears of her own filling her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"It's not your fault." his voice was rough. "It's just something I don't handle well. I'm sorry I made you upset."

"Will you please tell me?"

He sighed, staring at the road again. His grip on the wheel turned white-knuckled. "It's the one thing that's kept me from truly moving on from my parent's death."

"What happened?"

"I wasn't home. We got in a fight and they grounded me... I snuck out of the house. The last thing they ever heard me say to them was..."

"Was what?"

"I hate you," he whispered. "I hate you. Leave me alone."

"Edward... you were a teenager. Everyone has a fight like that with their parents at some point."

He was shaking his head before she was done. "No. Even if I did hate them, saying that to them was hurtful, disrespectful, and rude. That is the last impression they ever had of me. Hurtful, disrespectful, and rude. And they died thinking I hated them when that was so far from true." His voice was a hoarse whisper. "When I got back home, I saw the fire... my parents weren't outside and I tried to go in, but the roof caved. I heard my mother scream her death."

She gulped. "I'm sorry. That must be so... _horrible..._"

Tears were pouring down his face. "All I could do was... just stand there, with the cops holding me back, and scream at them that loved them and hope they heard."

Bella reached out and touched the side of his face, and he leaned instinctively into her touch, before removing one hand from the wheel to cover hers. "You see, it's important to me that you and Nessa see how much I love you. It kills me that they didn't know."

"Oh Edward, they did. They knew. They knew that you did. And they loved you too."

He shook his head.

"Yes they did. They did know, Edward. They knew."

"But..."

"They would be so proud of you."

He swallowed hard. "I can't even keep a girl," he said bitterly.

"Because she didn't want to stay. I want to stay. I want you to stay. You're good and caring, and you're responsible. You're selfless and gentle and amusing, and you're everything I've ever wanted. Everything they would have wanted in a son. How could they not be proud?"

He kissed the palm of her hand and tasted his tears there. "You're an angel, you know that?"

She shook her head, withdrawing her hand. "Not me. You."

"Stubborn, are you?"

She nodded, relieved at the lighter tone the conversation had taken.

"My stubborn angel."

She rolled her eyes. "Takes one to know one."

He sighed. "You got me. You win. As always."

She grinned and pecked his cheek. He laughed. "Edward, can I tell you something?"

"Yes, anything."

"Even if they weren't proud of you, Carlisle and Esme are. Alice and Emmett, and Rose and Jasper. _I_ am. Nessa is. And we love you."

He smiled at her, the happiness radiating there overwhelming her. "That's enough for me. Thank you, Bella."

"Always."

* * *

**A/N: sorry it's been so long. i've had a bit of writer's block on this. **

**another thing, i realize that i'm using songs twice for playlists... it's always on purpose. they are the songs that fit the chapter, and i'll use them as many times as is necessary. the green day song was just cuz i was listening to it while writing and it sort of fit the mood and the lyrics sort of fit it. when i go down is sort of the point of this chapter, listen to it.**

**be sure to check out my new story, the reason! i totally love it and i hope you will to.**

**cheers!  
~temporary insanity**


	13. Twelve

_Playlist: Pick up the pieces, alexz johnson/boyz attack; the goodbye girl, eric clapton_

* * *

Time had passed. It was the opening night of Cookie's new restaurant, ironically named Cookie's Cafe. Bella was sitting at a booth with Edward, Nessa, Emmett, and Alice. Rosalie and Jasper had gone to get them drinks.

"Bella, baby, I have to go to the bathroom."

"'Kay." Bella smiled up at him, marveling at how his green eyes sparkled even in the dim light. They'd been together for six months, and she had never been happier. He still faithfully taught Nessa piano, and she was extraordinary. She had decided to cut another sport in order to take more piano classes. Between gymnastics, soccer, and piano, Nessa never seemed to have any rest. She worried about overwhelming her daughter, but Nessa seemed perfectly content in going non-stop from seven in the morning until eight or nine at night. She said that she had plenty of free time; just that she spent it going to do things she loved.

They also always had dinner at his house on piano class nights. Cookie still cooked sometimes, but still being awfully ashamed around Bella, he hardly made an appearance. That was until Bella offered to let him open his restaurant and take Newton's off her hands. They had talked out their differences and he could look her in the eye now. It was a weight off Edward's shoulders that they could finally get along.

Also, Marcus had brought Hazel months before and Bella totally loved her. She was very good with Nessa and she was always nice to visitors. She took her to play with Trip often and they became fast friends. She was even getting along with Brownie. Marcus was at the opening too. He was sitting on the other side of the room, by himself.

Finding that odd, she stood and went to his table. "Hi, Marcus."

"Hi there. How are you?"

"Good. You?"

"Fine." he averted his gaze to his drink.

She frowned. "Cookie would be sad to see that you aren't enjoying yourself."

"I'm fine," he snapped.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh. Okay. um... if you wanted to know, Hazel is doing well with us at home. She's happy."

"That's great." his tone was bored.

She gave up. "I don't know why you're being so rude, but I'm just trying to make sure you're alright. Edward will be worried."

He shrugged, and his posture said, 'who cares?'

She huffed. "I don't know what your problem is, but don't take it out on me. Good night." she spun on her heel and stalked back toward her table.

"Bella, baby, what's wrong?" Edward caught up with her, falling right into step with her angry stride.

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Hey." He caught her elbow and pulled her to a stop. "Hey, what's going on? Why are you mad? Is it me?"

She sighed, knowing he wouldn't drop it until she said. "No, it's nothing... I went to try to talk to Marcus and he snapped at me. He's obviously not in the mood to talk. It's no big deal."

"I'm sorry, Bella, baby." she thought it was cute that he couldn't say her name without 'baby' at the end. It was his own personal endearment for her. She took comfort in his arms, letting him soothe away her anger. "I'll talk to him about it later, okay?"

"Don't," she protested.

"Bella, baby, he didn't have the right to talk to you that way if you were just looking out for him. I'll talk to him, okay? I wont make a big deal out of it, I promise. I know how you hate attention." he pressed a kiss to her forehead. Then he pulled back, grinning at her. "Dance with me?"

Her eyes widened. "No, Edward... you know I can't dance."

"Come on. I won't let you fall, I promise." he dragged her out to where the stage for the live music was, and he pulled her close and soon they were lost in the music.

Some time later, Someone tapped Edward's shoulder, and they looked up to see Emmett, grinning like the cat that caught the canary. "Can I cut in?" he asked.

Edward glowered at him for a moment before stepping back.

Emmett laughed. "Don't worry, I'll make sure your little lady is returned in one piece."

Edward gave him a withering look before heading for the bar.

"So, little sister."

"So, Big brother."

"I heard you had a little falling out with Marcus."

"I think he's just brooding. I asked Edward not to make a big deal out of it, and I expect you to do the same."

"Whoa, hold on. You expect me to be good but Eddie boy gets asked all nicely and stuff?!"

She laughed. "Aww, Emmy, you aren't jealous, are you?"

He pouted. "Just 'cause you and my brother are all gooey and stuff doesn't mean I get second."

"Emmett... will you please not make a big deal out of it?" she made sure to make her eyes extra wide and innocent and her lips extra pouty.

"Hey now, none of that." he instantly looked guilty and gave her a bear hug. "I won't make a big deal of it, okay? I'm going to hand you to your boyfriend now, he's the one that handles Bella-pouting."

Edward grinned. "Well I don't do any better than you. Come on, Bella, baby. Our food is going to get cold." he took her hand and led her to the table.

He grabbed her hand and after they finished and didn't let go except After some time, he excused himself again. Confused as she lost him in the crowd, she turned to Alice. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine."

a voice came through the speakers. "Bella, baby."

She whipped around to find Edward sitting up at the piano on the stage, his perfect fingers roaming over the keys. "Edward-- what are you doing up there?" she asked, smiling at him.

He winked at her before turning to the crowd. "Good evening, everyone," he said into the microphone again. "On behalf of Cookie and his team, I'd like to thank you all for coming for opening night." cheers and applause erupted from them, and Bella wondered exactly how famous he was. After all, most classical musicians didn't do as well as pop musicians. Or so she thought.

"Well I was asked by a special someone about a song for her mom." he grinned at Nessa who beamed back at him. "Well, honey, I didn't have any music for you to learn, so I decided to write my own. This is titled, 'Bella's Lullaby."

Touched, Bella studied her hands, in a furious effort to prevent betrayal of the tear ducts.

"I love you, Bella, baby," he said into the microphone. And then his fingers were flying in a melody that was complex yet simple, soothing but exciting, loving and tender... she found that their relationship was being expressed through his composition.

When he was finished, everyone clapped and cheered, and the spotlight followed him as he hopped off the stage and wen to the table, pulling her out of her seat and drying her happy tears before pulling her into his embrace. He kissed her forehead and then her lips. "I love you."

She smiled at him. "I love you too."

Alice and Emmett cleared their throats. "Guys? Public place?"

Several people closest to them chuckled and Edward beamed. "Well I don't love her only in private." He turned to her again and his eyes smoldered. "What I wouldn't give to tell the whole universe that I love you."

She beamed up at him and he claimed her lips again.

**B|E  
two months after**

He couldn't believe it. The whole drive back to Bella's house he spent in stunned silence. He didn't know what to do.

They had gone out to Cookie's again, just the two of them, and he'd played his lullaby for her, just like always did when they went there. And then a gentleman approached him, asking him if he could speak with his agent about a world tour.

A world tour. A year long tour. Of Europe, Asia, and Canada and the US. It would end with him playing in California. If all went well.

And withing the hour, his agent called him and said that he could do the tour.

He didn't know whether to be excited or depressed. After all, the last time he'd been on a tour of that magnitude, he wound up single for the first time in three years. He didn't want that to happen again. He was honestly so terrified of leaving her that he shudder repeatedly, earning him several worried glances.

When they finally got there, he stared straight ahead. "Goodnight, Bella."

She shook her head, suddenly angry. "No. you were perfectly fine before and then you just shut down. You've been shaking and I wondered if you were okay driving, and now you're being all monotone and mean. I refuse to leave this vehicle until you tell me what is wrong."

He sighed shakily. "Okay. Let' s go inside. Tuck Vanessa in, then we will talk, okay?"

She glared at him for a moment before getting out of the car and stomping inside. He sighed. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He hated it when she was angry. He got out of the car and headed in to find Bella tapping her foot impatiently at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well?"

"Have a seat," he whispered. She stalked into the living room and shooed away Hazel as she tried to sit with her.

"What is going on?!"

"Well," he sighed. "I got an offer."

"What kind of offer?"

"An offer to do a world tour."

She gulped, and tears formed in her eyes, spilling over her cheeks which were now red with hurt and anger. "You're leaving me. You're breaking up with me so you can go on tour. Oh God, you're just like the rest of them--"

"No!" he grabbed her wrist and forced her to look at him. "I love you! Why on earth would I break up with you?!"

She spat in his face. "Liar."

His eyes widened in surprise and he wiped his face with his sleeve, still dazed. "No... Bella--"

"Get out."

"No."

"GET OUT NOW BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!"

"Bella please... I love you, Bella, baby. I won't leave you. I'm not leaving you, Bella. Would you let me finish? Please?"

She glared at him, tears still clinging to her long eyelashes and pouring down her face.

"I'd be gone for a year. I have six months to get my music together if I accept."

"If?" she echoed incredulously.

"Bella, baby... there's a lot of money up for grabs if I do this... I won't be making less than a hundred large per play. Can you imagine what we could do? We could put Nessa through college. We could get married... I'll give you the wedding of your dreams... we could leave Forks. Emmett was saying how much you wanted to get out of here. Anything you want, Bella baby, you can have it. But if you don't want me to go, I won't."

She sniffed. "You want to marry me?"

"I want to be with you forever. I never want to let go of you. But that would mean that I have to go away for a while."

"I don't want you to go," she whimpered, falling into his arms.

He led them back to the couch, still holding her close. "Shh," he whispered, "don't worry, Bella baby. I'll go anywhere in the world and I'll never leave you. I love you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

she sniffed. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I spit on you." She pouted up at him, her eyes still brimming with tears.

He smiled. "It's okay, now." He pulled her close again. "Please don't cry anymore. I promise I will come back or you. I always will."

* * *

**A/N: okay, so i realize i skipped several months here, but i was running low on ideas of what to do during the time before this and this is the other main point of the story. it's like the goodbye girl, kind of. hence the song.**

**reviews make me happy inside.**

**cheers!  
~temporary insanity**


	14. Thirteen

He watched her skip happily into the piano room and sighed.

"You better talk to her," hissed Bella. "Don't do to her what you did to me."

"Look, I'm nervous about all this. Shouldn't you be here too?"

"She needs proof you won't leave her. I can't do that."

"I love you, Bella. And I love Nessa. I'll figure something out. Okay?"

She sighed. "Fine. I love you."

"As I love you."

"Good luck."

"I need it," he chuckled humorlessly before going into the piano room. He decided until after class was over to talk to her. After an excellent session, he sighed. "Nessa?"

"Yes, Edward."

"Your mom and I talked about something very important the other night."

"About what?"

"Um... I've been asked to do a concerts. All over the world."

"Cool!" she bounced up and down. "When are we leaving? Where are we going? Can we go to Austria?"

He cleared his throat. "Nessa-- I'm leaving in six months. You and your mum are not coming with me."

"But we have to! You're supposed to go everywhere with the people you love."

"I do love you honey. I just need to do this alone. You have school and mom has work."

"But I want to go with you! What will happen to my piano classes? You're leaving us, aren't you? Just like all the other boys mommy dated! You're going to leave us too! I hate you! I hate you!"

"Nessa, honey--"

"Go away!"

"I'll come back for you."

She stopped ranting and crying. "I don't believe you," she sniffed.

"Please honey. You mum believes me."

"Well my mom is stupid! She thought daddy would love us! She thought the other boys would! She thought you would, but she was wrong! She is always wrong."

"Now I won't tolerate you calling your mother stupid. That is rude and disrespectful. I promise you I will come back. You know why? Because I want to marry your mum."

She sniffed. "You do?"

"Yes. But don't tell your mom about it, it will be our secret. I have a ring for her and everything. But... I don't know if I should give it to her before I leave or after I come back."

"How long will you be gone?"

"A little over a year, honey."

"So long! Are you even gonna remember us then?"

"I can never forget you," he vowed solemnly.

"'Cause daddy always forgot me."

"I won't be like him."

She frowned, and he marveled at how closely the child resembled Bella then. "How do I know you are telling the truth?"

"You just have to trust me."

"I don't want to! You're leaving!"

he sighed. She was being more difficult than Bella. "Shh, honey. I promise we will keep in contact while I'm gone, okay? I don't know how to make you believe me. I love Bella and I love you. I would never leave you. Just because I have to leave you behind for a while doesn't mean I've stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. I promise."

"Can I see it?"

"See what, Nessa?"

"The ring you got for mommy."

"Sure. Let me go get it." he went upstairs and to his nightstand where he got out the navy blue box that held three rings, all belonging to his biological parents. It was the only thing that he'd been able to salvage from the wreck of his old home, and the jeweler had to melt down the wedding bands to fix them. But here they were, glimmering and glistening in the dim light. Elizabeth's engagement ring sparkled differently, because of the blood ruby set in the middle. It was different than normal engagement rings, that was for sure. And it was so beautiful. And the way it would glow on her pale skin--

he hurried downstairs. "I have it, Nessa, come look." he rounded the corner flashing his treasure, only to find Bella there. "Oh..."

Nessa looked like someone being chastised for backstabbing. "I ruined the surprise, didn't I?"

He shook his head, studying her face. Her eyes were now on the open box in his hand. "Edward..." she breathed, and tears filled her eyes.

"Don't... cry. I'm sorry."

She shook her head fervently. "No! No, it's just... beautiful. It's for me?"

He chuckled a little and nodded. "Let's talk, okay? The three of us." They followed him into the sitting room and he watched Bella sit down nervously. He went over and kissed the top of Nessa's head before getting on both knees in front of Bella, leaning a little on her lap. "Bella baby?" he winked at Nessa, who giggled.

"Yes?" she whimpered, her voice cracking.

"i know I have to go away, and I hate that we will be apart. But that doesn't change the fact that my heart has been yours since the moment I saw you first. I love you so much. Will you please marry me?"

Tears spilled recklessly down her cheeks as she nodded.

"Does this mean you'll be my daddy now?"

he crawled over to Nessa, taking a similar position and looking directly into her eyes. "Is that what you want?"

She nodded and he hugged her, kissing the crown of her head again.

"Edward?" she barely whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Can I call you daddy now?"

On the other couch, Bella sobbed, and he frowned at the thought of her sobbing out of happiness. He nodded. "If you want to."

"I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, honey." his own voice became overwhelmed by the emotion inside of him, and his own eyes brimmed with tears of joy. He turned and smiled at his tearful Bella. "Come join us, Bella baby."

She grinned and hopped over to their couch.

A few minutes later, Edward smiled. The girls had fallen asleep in his arms, both of them. His heart was going to swell out of his chest with joy. He'd lost a love once. But, in retrospect, he had bought a ring for her. He swore that he would give his mother's ring to the woman of his dreams, but yet he'd felt compelled to give her something else. It was a sign, but he'd missed it. But now, he'd gained not only a love, but a family.

The issue now was how on earth he'd keep it.


	15. Fourteen

_playlist: none_

* * *

Edward quit giving classes soon after, in order to focus on practicing. It was a very stressful time in his relationship with Bella, because he spent most of the time cooped up in the house practicing and she wanted to spend time with him before he left.

He was so afraid that they wouldn't last, but he kept that to himself and his piano. He wrote lots of new music and practiced some of his old things. On days when Bella was stressed, she'd come and sit on the couch to listen to him play until she fell asleep.

His phone rang, the feel of it vibrating against the piano making him jump. "Hello?"

"I've been ringing the doorbell for the past twenty minutes! Can you please help me? I can't get the key with all this stuff in my hands..."

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry... I'm on my way." he jumped up and ran to the door to find Bella with two boxes and tons of bags full of things. Those were the last two boxes of her things. She had moved in, and the only things left were some toys and things from Nessa's room, and some personal things of her own.

They had discussed it several months before, and decided that since his house was closer to her work and he needed someone to take care of Brownie and the house, it would be easier for her to move in and live there while he was gone. So her house was on the market, and all but empty.

He took the things quickly from her hands and moved to set them in their room. Once he set them down, he turned to meet Bella's furious gaze. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella. I truly am sorry."

"I'm starting to think that you love that thing more than me."

"Never," he said, reaching for her. But she pulled away.

He retracted his hand like he'd been burned.

"Edward... Nessa's gymnastics regionals are tomorrow. Will you be there?"

he sighed. "Of course."

"On time?"

"Yes."

"Will you come eat with us today?"

"Baby, I gotta--"

"See? That right there. You're making yourself just like him."

he gaped at her. "What are you talking about?!"

"When we go out, we're the most important thing in the world. And yet, the second I want to have dinner with my daughter and my fiancee in my house, he has other things to do. But... that's fine. I'll just order take out. Like always."

"Bella..."

"Leave me alone."

"Bella, for the love of God, stop! You know that I love you. Please don't make this hard on me--"

"You?! It's hard for you?! We need you, Edward. We need _you_! And here you are, ignoring us for all the world and then leaving us for a whole damn year! Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lauren left you because she didn't like being ignored?"

The air wooshed from his lungs like he'd been knifed there. Unable to breathe, he could only listen as she twisted the knife deeper into his chest.

"Maybe she wanted someone to really love her. And maybe she wanted someone who would pay attention to her a little bit more than zero percent before touring the world with gorgeous women throwing themselves at him."

His mouth dropped open and he tried to speak, but nothing came out. She glared at him before storming away.

**E|B**

When she came back to the room that much later, fully intent on ignoring him, she found him sitting on the edge of the bed in the same position she left him. He couldn't seem to suck in enough air and the moonlight lit the tear tracks on his face with silvery blue force. He hadn't acknowledged her presence yet.

"Edward?"

he didn't move. He didn't even blink.

"Edward..."

"Please don't leave me... please..." his voice was hoarse and extremely pained.

She realized how bad she hurt him with her angry words. She inched toward him, afraid to spook him, and sat down next to him. "Edward?" she whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said."

he gulped. "I... I know I deserve to be alone, Bella, I just... I can't..." he tried to draw a deep breath, but wound up shuddering and choking for it. "If you want to leave me, I understand."

"Edward, I won't leave you," she whispered, tears springing to her eyes at how completely distraught he was. "I'm sorry, Edward. Please forgive me. Please."

he shook his head, still gasping for air. "Not your fault. My fault." he moved then. His eyes bore into hers as they overflowed with tears. "I... was too obsessed... with providing for you, being... good enough. I've been putting everything I have into my piano because it's the only thing I'm good at... I want it to be good enough for you. And I've pushed you away in the process."

"Edward..." now that put things in a whole new light. He was giving her everything by going away. He was putting his soul out there for everyone to see when he played, and he was giving that, all of it, his whole career to her. He was trying to be good enough the only way he knew how. "I've been so selfish," she muttered at last. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid it's me who failed you."

"No, Bella."

"Yes. You're doing your best and you're doing it for us and I've been undermining it all this time."

"I should have made the time to be with you."

She sniffed a little. "I'll forgive you if you forgive me."

He practically launched himself at her, tackling her onto the bed and kissing every piece of skin he could find. "I love you, I love you... I'm sorry. I forgive you, I love you..." it became his mantra as he kissed her.

"Edward, I'm not leaving you. I love you. I love you."

he paused long enough to look at her. "Really? Promise?" he sounded like an excited five year old.

She nodded, grinning as he tugged at the hem of her shirt.

**B|E**

When he woke up, she was gone. He padded into the kitchen to find a folded note. He picked it up, trying not to hyperventilate.

Dear Edward, before you have a panic attack, I'm just going to work. I left pancakes in the microwave. I love you. I'll see you tonight at Nessa's competition. Six o'clock sharp, okay? Please don't be late. Lotsa luv, Bella.  
PS-- don't be surprised if you don't see me wearing it... I left it at the jewelers for cleaning. -B.

He grinned and happily set the microwave to warm up his microwave and grabbed a glass of orange juice. He also got out the maple syrup and set some butter out to soften. He wasn't going to lose her. He was going to fight to give them the best life imaginable, and then he would live it peacefully with them forever. He'd marry her ad they would be a family. He utterly refused to see any other outcome.

With that stubborn thought in mind, he devoured his pancakes and got ready for another day of practice.


	16. Fifteen

_Playlist: Never Again Kelly Clarkson; There's Us. Alexz Johnson; Ghost of Mine, Cory Lee; The Best Thing Relient K_

_

* * *

_

Edward tossed his hand frantically through his hair as he drove around looking for a parking spot. In another five minutes, he wouldn't be able to see Nessa before the program. Which would make her very sad.

Frustrated, he parked on the side of the street and ran inside.

"Daddy! there you are!"

"Hey there love," he smiled, as Nessa ran up and jumped into his arms. "I'm sorry I'm late honey. Hi Bella Baby." he put Nessa down and met Bella's lips with his own, sighing happily as he found home there on her soft, kissable lips. With vanilla lip gloss.

Bella pulled away, grinning when he pouted. "Come on, baby, Nessa has to go with her team and we have to find seats and concessions."

"Okay, love. Did Emmett and Alice come?"

"Yeah, they are here with Jazz and Rose."

"Oh, good." he pecked those delicious lips again and set out to find less desirable concessions while Bella found their seats.

Standing in line, he sighed. He didn't want to miss Nessa's performance.

"No, Jacques! Not the nachos, those have too many calories." he recognized that voice.

"Lauren..."

She gasped. "Oh my gosh! Edwin! how have you been?"

"Nice to know you cared enough to remember my name. It's Edward." he stalked away sans concessions and sat down next to Bella, sighing his disgust. "I love you Bella Baby."

"I love you too what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter."

"It has you this upset, it matters."

He sighed. "You'll never guess who I ran into," he said bitterly.

"Who, baby?"

"Lauren."

"What the heck? What is she doing here?"

"I Don't know. I just Don't want to see her again. Ever."

"Baby don't worry about it. The show is going to start okay? Just relax and forget about her."

"Okay. I love you." He kissed those delicious lips again, savoring the moment. He would forget Lauren, his soon to be step daughter needed him now.

**E|B**

She was surprised when he came to sit with them sans-food and anxious, but she was glad that her green-eyed piano man was finally starting to relax.

They watched in awe as Vanessa did a flawless floor routine, the tricks and flips that she contorted her body into stunning the audience and the judges. She had worked hard and Bella had coached her and cheered her on over several months. Tears came to her eyes when her scores brought her team into second place at regionals.

Edward and Emmett jumped to their feet, cheering and whooping. Vanessa saw them and giggled and scampered back to her team who rushed her with congratulatory hugs and high fives. Her coach swung her around and kissed the top of her head.

Bella was grinning happily as she headed to the bathroom during a break and Edward headed for the food. "Hurry, love, we can't miss Nessa's high beam performance." With a kiss he was gone, and she headed to the bathroom. When she finished, she opened the door and a young prissy looking blonde was staring in the direction she had come from.

"You look lost," Bella noted, wondering what she was staring at and feeling lost herself.

"It's just... like, you see that guy? I dated him when I lived in England and I still like him."

"Oh really?" Bella's blood boiled, but she was careful to keep her voice neutral. "That's funny, he's my fiancee. He told me all about you, Lauren."

"F-fiancee?" she gulped, before regaining her self-important composure again. "I don't see a ring."

"It's at the jewelers," Bella sneered. "It's a family heirloom, I like to keep it clean."

"Listen, bitch-"

"No you, listen, you skank. Edward wants _ nothing_ to do with you. What are you even doing here anyway? Stalking him?"

"No. I live in Miami now, I came to support my husband's niece in this competition."

"Ahh... the dude you ran off with. I'm surprised you didn't leave him too."

"Leave him out of this!"

"Then step off Edward, he's not yours anymore."

"What is going on here? Bella?" he wrapped a protective arm around her. "What is going on?"

"Edward... hi."

"Lauren... what did you do?"

"Nothing! I was just talking to her. I didn't realize she was with you... you should get a nicer girlfriend Edward. She's a bitch."

"Excuse me?"

"Whoa whoa... Bella baby, shhh," he whispered in her ear restraining her gently in his strong embrace. "Are you done, love?"

She nodded, snuggling close to him. "I gotta wait for Rose," she mumbled into his chest.

"I'm here," Rosalie said, appearing behind them. Rosalie's beauty and attitude made the other blonde gulp slightly as she looked her up and down skeptically. "Edward, is this your ex-skank?"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem is you, bitch. Leave Edward and Bella alone."

"Or what?"

"Step off, skank. I'm a second degree black belt." Rosalie turned, flipping her hair, and gestured to Bella and Edward. "Guys, we'll miss Nessa's beam performance." and she walked away.

"Buh-bye," sneered Bella as she followed.

Edward kissed her temple and hugged her close, smiling radiantly at her. "Let's go, love."

She looked into his sparkling green eyes, confused by his mood. "Okay. Are you alright?"

"Never better," he said, kissing her lips. "Never better."

**B|E**

When they finally got home, after watching Nessa's stunning performance and her teammate's equally excellent high-bar routine that won the team first place, Edward shrugged out of his clothes and crawled into bed, exhausted.

Bella returned from the shower after a few minutes, hair wet, and skin warm. She wore booty shorts and a tank top and her body looks utterly delicious. But her eyes were questioning, and he frowned. "What's the matter, love?"

"Nothing, I'm just wondering how you're doing."

"I'm fine, Bella baby. Just tired, is all."

"No... I mean, about Lauren."

He grinned. "You know, I thought seeing her would have some type of conflict, resurrect feelings or make me confused about what I want... it wasn't like that at all. She just showed me everything I missed when I was with her that made us wrong for each other. I never once, not even for a second, felt any kind of doubt. On the contrary; instead of reopening a sore wound, seeing her gave me the closure I needed in order to truly be happy with you. I love you so very much, Bella baby. I will never leave you."

She smiled brilliantly, her happiness lighting every last dark corner of the room and of his heart. Her tears of joy spilled onto his bare chest as she launched herself into his arms. "I love you too Edward."

He smiled, gently maneuvering her under the covers and tucking them in. "Sleep, love."

She snuggled close to him, her happy silly smile still on her face. "Night Edward... I love you..."

He smiled again as she slipped into slumber. "Sleep well, my love." with a kiss, he turned off the light and followed her into dreamland.

**E|V**

She finally had a father to cheer for her. She finally saw her mother happy and peaceful.

She finally had a real family.

**A/N: omg... it has Been MONTHS! I totally missed posting. I've had the most horrible writer's block, especially with this story. But looks like I'm back for now. Reviews will make me do a happy dance and give out free iCookies and iCupcakes! :P**

**cheers and thanks,**

**~temporary insanity**


	17. Sixteen

_Playlist: The Reason, Hoobastank; Save Me, Remy Zero; Possibility, Lykke Li (new moon soundtrack); Look at Those Eyes, Alexz Johnson_

_

* * *

_

Bella opened her eyes to see a smooth bare chest. She followed the pale smoothness up, marveling at the lines of his jaw, subtly hinted with the shadow that signified that he needed to shave. His green eyes were dull. "Hi baby," she whispered.

"Hi Bella baby," he said, and his voice was full of apprehension and loss. "I wish I could stay," he whimpered.

His voice cracked, and her heart immediately broke for him. "Don't do that. You're going to be amazing and then you're going to come home."

"I wanna skip to the home part."

She chuckled, trying to keep her voice light. "Me too. Now hurry up, I have to take you to the airport."

"Come with me," he pleaded, pulling her close.

She sighed, letting him pull her close. "Okay, Edward."

"Nessa honey don't cry." Edward squatted down to her eye level and pulled her into his arms, squeezing her close. "Shhh... I'll be back before you know it."

"Pfft," scoffed Nessa into his chest. "Not even you believe that."

"I'll miss you Nessa honey. Practice, okay? You're amazing. And take care of your mum."

"I'll miss you too. I will."

He stood tears building in his eyes as he turned to Bella. "I love you so much."

Tears spilled freely over her cheeks and mixed with his as they kissed. "I love you too. Come back to me."

"Always."

"Promise?"

"Bella... You are the only reason for me to live. I need you. You've changed me." he sniffled. "I'll be back for you, I need you like I need air. I swear." Another fervent squeeze, he was gone.

Bella sighed, heading back to her car. Nessa heaved a sigh.

"I know, Nessa. I'll miss him too."

"I don't want him to go. He's my daddy now."

"I know honey. I miss him too. But it will be okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise." At that moment a loud crash followed by an explosion rocked the car shattering the windows and making Bella slam on the brakes. In the rear view mirror, a ball of smoke and fire rose from the building.

**B|E**

The plane was already in the air bound for my first concert in England. He sighed relaxing into his first class seat waiting for them to hit ten thousand feet so that they could bring a glass of wine. He needed it, flying made him nervous.

Suddenly the plane rocked, causing the a sick feeling in his stomach as they fell through the air. The passengers screamed as the pilot struggled to get the aircraft under control. Billows of smoke rose and enveloped them and he struggled to see the source of the smoke. He froze in horror. A plane had miscalculated and flown into the airport with a disastrous boom. He gulped and tears filled his eyes. Bella and Nessa were in there. The plane slowly stablized, and passengers where gasping and weeping in horror at what had happened. There was another explosion as more fuel caught fire from the planes...

Planes? What the hell had happened? He was terrified that his Bella and his Nessa had not made it out of there. The stewardess walked by and he gulped. "Please... I need to call my fiancee... she just dropped me off..."

"Cell phones are not allowed."

"Please, I just need to see that she's alright. Please," he begged. His life could be going up in smoke as they spoke. The thought made tears of desperation fall over his cheeks.

"Give it fifteen minutes. We'll be up at ten thousand feet by then, and if she can answer, she will be at a safe distance to do so."

"But..."

"No. Please wait until ten thousand feet to use the aircraft phone."

_God... please, please just save my Bella. Please..._

**E|B**

Bella shakily drove along the highway, Nessa crying quietly in the back seat. The windows were shattered, so the wind blew their hair into their faces, mixing with their tears and sticking in wild patterns. Upon arrival at Alice's home, Vanessa jumped out of the car and and jumped, sobbing, into Emmett's arms.

"Awww, Nessa honey, it's alright. Don't cry..."

Then he saw Bella's face.


	18. Seventeen

**Okay I have to say, this year has been incredibly difficult and ugh so tiring. Unfortunately all of this has caused epic blockage in the writing part of my brain… im back, even though I'm still blocked, but hopefully able to get back in the swing of things. I also just lost my USB port with all my stories in it… so I'm starting sorta from scratch here. **

**Please enjoy this chapter!**

**Cheers! **

**~temporary insanity**

**

* * *

**

_Playlist: meteor shower, owl city; here without you, 3 doors down_

_

* * *

_

"_Bella… please, Bella baby, if you're here okay, leave a message on my cell… I don't know what happened, but please, please just… call… oh God, please be okay, Bella. Please. I need you… _

Bella's eyes flooded with relief once again as she played the message over on speaker phone. _He's okay, He's okay. He's not hurt… His plane is safe…_

Emmett, true to himself, grabbed his jacket. "This is too intense. I need a drink."

"Second," called Jasper as he helped Alice into her coat.

Bella drew a shaky breath. "Nessa needs me. I'll pass."

Rosalie nodded. "I'll bring tea for us."

"Thanks."

**B|E**

"_Edward… I'm so happy that you're safe!" _A sob threatened to escape, but she managed to hold it back. _"We thought… your plane…" _Her voice cracked sharply over the word, and he frowned. _"We couldn't find your flight information when they announced the flight numbers on the news and—please don't ever scare us like that again! We need you…"_

He really wanted to just hold her and kiss her, but he was currently on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, which happened to be across the country. He played the message over and over again, missing her voice so much it hurt. He had called her when he landed in Boston, almost crying when she sighed his name.

"Edward… I love you."

"I love you too, Bella baby, I'm so glad you are safe. Are you hurt, love?"

"No… the car is though. All the windows blew from the force of the shockwave… what the hell happened? It looked like a nuclear bomb went off in the airport!"

"I think there was something wrong with a plane… it just nose-dived into the airport… I think near a gate." He shuddered as he remembered the jet-fuel igniting and the way the plane rocked. "It made another plane blow up too… but I don't think anyone was in the second one, because I saw the people leaving, like it had just landed. I don't know, it all happened so fast. Oh baby, I'm so glad you're safe, love. How bad is the car?"

"All the windows are broken. Rose said she'd get if fixed-"

"Okay. Tell her to call me with the price."

"Edward—"

"Bella baby, let me take care of you. I will handle the insurance and payments."

She sighed. "Edward…"

"No buts, my love. I will take care of you."

"Okay, Edward. I love you."

"I love you too, Bella. Let me talk to Nessa, love."

There was a muffled yell and some shuffling and then Nessa's voice came over the line. "Daddy? Are you really there?"

"Yes, love. I just landed in Boston."

"Your plane didn't crash? We saw a plane crash!"

"I know. I promise I'm safe."

There was silence for a moment before she spoke, her voice small and full of tears. "Daddy?"

"Yes, love?"

"What's going to happen to all the people on the plane?"

He sighed. "Oh Nessa honey… they are going to rest now."

"Rest?"

"Yes, love. They won't feel anything more."

"What about their families? Are they as sad as we were?"

"I'm sure they are, love. But they will be okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

After speaking to Bella again, he hung up the phone and the rest of his travels had gone smoothly. He wished with all his heart that he could have Bella and Nessa with him.

An idea struck him. He would have his fiancée and his daughter join him for Christmas vacation. He was going to be in England then, and the holiday was but a few short months away. He could even get a tutor for Nessa and have them come on tour with him from November, so that they could spend thanksgiving together. And he could also review Nessa's progress with the piano. He grinned at the idea. He would have his family back sooner than he thought…

**E|B**

Bella sighed as she watched Nessa stumble over the keys to the piano. She'd been sitting there for over two hours, her frustration and anger growing with each mistake or sour note. Eventually she got up and stormed to her room, batting Brownie out of the way and leaving the dog staring after her in confusion.

She felt her daughter's pain. Everything without Edward just didn't function. She'd gotten clumsy and her job as a literature teacher was getting more and more tedious. She felt empty, like something was missing. Her daughter had cried because of a D+ she'd gotten in a math class, which Edward had happily tutored her in. He had made their lives better, and now without his presence, their lives were duller and lonelier than before.

The phone rang, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Hello?"

"Bella baby. I miss you."

"I miss you too, believe me."

"What's wrong, love?"

She sighed. "Everything…"


	19. Eighteen

**A/N: wow it has been forever and a year. I apologize for my lateness and I hope I haven't lost you all. Things have been pretty intense around here since I posted last, but I won't bore you with my excuses.**

**This chapter will be some time after the last chapter. Vanessa is ten, and it is the next school year. Edward has been gone for several months.**

**Thanks for sticking around and cheers!**

**~temporary insanity**

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_Playlist: Compromise: Bella's Theme, Howard Shore._

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**B**

"Hi Bella Baby," his soft voice sang.

"Hi honey!" she crowed into the phone. She and Nessa hadn't spoken to him in a couple days, since he'd been traveling and rehearsing. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too baby. I've been sooooooo busy here. I think in the past week I've sleep about 6 hours." She heard him flop onto his bed in exhaustion. Due to the time difference, his late night was her morning. She was usually getting ready for work when he was ready to sleep. Over the last several months it had become custom for them to talk twice a day, morning and night. Nessa usually joined in the conversation, and she and Edward had become very close.

"Ugh I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do."

"Just keep me company baby."

"For a little while. I have to work soon."

He laughed a little, and her stomach fluttered. "I mean real company. I want you and Nessa to come see me during your summer holiday. I know Nessa keeps saying she wants to visit Europe… I'll be somewhere in Russia so come, it will be refreshing to see eachother for a little while."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" she squealed, "Really? Oooh that's only in a couple months! We only got to see you for like two days over Christmas break and we miss you baby," she pouted for a second before getting excited again. "Oh my gosh it will be awesome to see you play! And-"

"Shhh, baby, you'll burst my eardrums. I'll have your plane tickets ready. You take care of all the stuff you have to, ok?"

"Okay. It's going to be so much fun! I can't wait to tell Nessa…" She realized she was acting like a child who was just told she was going to Disney world, but she did not care at all. Besides, it was making him laugh, and she would act like she was three for the rest of her life if it meant that she could hear that soft musical laugh of his.

"Mommy," Said Nessa as she barged into her room. "I need help."

"I'm coming baby. Here, talk to Daddy."

She handed Nessa the phone and helped her detangle her hair and styled it into a simple French braid. She squealed loudly, and Bella assumed Edward had told her the great news. She ran off after handing back the phone, singing and muttering something about daddy and Russian polka.

Edward was still laughing when Bella put the phone to her ear. "She says she wants me to make up some Russian polka music to play in a concert," he chuckled.

"Oh boy."

They were both quiet for a minute. This was the worst part about phone calls; you had to hang up at some point.

"I love you Edward."

"I love you too Bella baby. So, so very much. I'll see you soon, okay?"

She squealed again. "Yay! Okay! I love you bye…"

She heard him laugh as she hung up the phone. She bent to grab her charger and felt a strange sensation in her stomach, like a cramp but not painful. The past couple days she hadn't felt so well, but she did not tell anyone, especially not Edward, because she knew he would worry.

She already knew today was going to be a disasterous day, but just the phone call from Edward had already trumped any ridiculous occurrence that could happen. The semester was almost over and she knew her students were going to be cranky. Seeing as how she was only a substitute teacher, she had come in to teach literature at the local high school after the literature teacher had an unfortunate car accident and was badly injured. She was there for the rest of the semester.

She made her way down the stairs, noting that her stomach was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. It was too late to call out because she was the only available substitute teacher around for miles, and they would have to arrange for a substitute teacher to come from another district in advance. So she just sucked it up and dealt with it.

She dropped Nessa off at her school and she drove, daydreaming about finally being with Edward again. She wanted some time alone with him… she missed his warmth and she missed his kiss and his...

Shaking her head she parked in the staff parking space and gathered her things for today's lessons. Her AP World Literature class was the only one she was looking forward to. The rest she knew did not do her homework at all.

School dragged on and Bella only felt worse and worse. The pain in her stomach would go away and come back even worse a few minutes later. By the time school was over, she was sweaty and uncomfortable and she wanted to just go home and be alone, except that Alice was going over there.

"Alice… hey," she said into the phone.

"Bella what's the matter?"

"I don't feel very great."

"I can tell. I'll be there at 7 tonight alright? I have some stuff to do with Jasper and I know you want to rest so I'll be there a bit later. And no excuses!"

"I really think…"

"I'll be there at seven!" and the line went dead.

Bella sighed in relief as she pulled into the driveway, listening to Nessa chatter away about her friends and the guy in her science class that her best friend thought was cute. She crinkled her nose and adamantly denied that he was cute when Bella asked. Nessa went to do her homework and Bella struggled into the kitchen to make some food.

By dinner time, Bella could hardly eat. The pain and pressure building in her stomach was so awful that she couldn't handle it anymore. She picked up the phone and dialed Emmett.

"Emmett…"

"You okay baby sister?"

"No… I need you to come get me."

"I'm on my way. ROSE!" she heard him shuffling around, pick up a set of keys, and a yelp followed by four letter words and muttering. "Im on my way, Bella. What's wrong?"

"I can't take the pain anymore," she cried into the phone. "Alice said she and Jasper had stuff to do—oh, I don't even know if you were busy, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I TIVO'ed the football game. Rose is coming too, ok?"

"Okay," she whispered. She shuffled into the bedroom and put on some lose pajamas and a tank top. Laying down on the bed, she closed her eyes. "I need to go to the hospital."

"Bella honey you need to speak up, I don't understand you. Maybe I should call dad…"

"I need to go to the hospital."

"Yeah I'll take you there honey, okay? Just sit tight."

Another wave of pain overtook her and she realized that her once white blankets and light blue pajamas were now decorated with dark red stains. "I'm bleeding… I'm scared," she cried.

"We're on our way honey. Just hang tight okay? You're going to be okay…"

**B|E**

"SHE WHAT?" Roared Edward into the phone. His rehearsal had finished and he went backstage to find that he, the stage manager, and his agent all had nine or ten missed calls from Alice, Emmett, or his father. He called back and found that Bella was…

He shook his head. "That's impossible. There's no way! There just isn't…"

"well there is a way, little brother."

"Emmett, for Christ sakes, now isn't the time for crude jokes!"

"I don't know what to tell you little bro. Bella called me and said she needed to go to the hospital. I picked her up and took her, and the doctors did ultrasounds and stuff and then they put her in the maternity ward. It's a girl."

"It's a… but she wasn't even pregnant!" he sputtered in confusion.

"Apparently she was. The doctors are running tests on the baby and stuff now."

"I want to go home," he mumbled pathetically.

"I'll call you back in a few, okay? They just said we can see her. I promise we'll take care of her lil bro, okay? I'll hurry back." _Click._

Edward wanted to pull his hair in frustration. Of all the damn luck! He was halfway around the world from his fiancée who was having his baby! It must have been so terrifying to find out that she was in labor when she didn't even know she was pregnant. She didn't know, did she? She would have told him at least.

Unless it wasn't his baby.

_No no no no no no! __I can't think like that. She loves me. She won't cheat._ He shook his head frantically and before he even knew what he was doing, he was out the door to find his agent.

"Edward, what is going on?"

"I need to go home. Like, now."

"What? But-"

"I don't care! Cancel whatever you have to. I'm going home."


	20. Nineteen

_Playlist: Isn't She Lovely, Stevie Wonder_

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**E|B**

She shouldn't have been surprised to wake up to Edward hurrying into the room looking completely panicked and confused. She was feeding her new baby girl when he ran in, practically crying.

She still couldn't believe she had just had a baby. She had always been rather irregular after giving birth to Nessa, and she hadn't noticed any changes to her body in the past 38 weeks. Although in retrospect, she had consumed ridiculous amounts of peanut brittle ice cream, but that didn't mean much to her at the time. Her hips might have gotten a little bit wider, but she hadn't gained more than 9 or 10 pounds. How did she miss that she was pregnant? It was the single most terrifying and painful thing in the world to give birth to a child you didn't know existed. She couldn't imagine how Edward felt at the moment.

"Is that… her?"

She smiled up at him as he inched closer, reaching out to touch the tiny bundle in her arms. She motioned him to sit on the bed and then placed the baby in his arms. His eyes immediately filled with tears. "My baby," he whispered. "God you're beautiful."

"The doctor said the was this close to full term. Gosh, how do you go eight and a half months without knowing you are pregnant?"

"I don't know… God I was so scared. I thought something had happened…"

"I'm okay. The baby is okay."

He nodded and smiled gratefully at her for the reassurance. He visibly relaxed, cooing at the baby and playing with her tiny fingers.

"I haven't chosen a name yet."

He looked up in surprise. "I didn't think you'd wait around for me…"

She chuckled and handed him the bottle, since the baby was getting rather angry at her meal being interrupted. "I wasn't actually, I didn't know that you were coming. I was going to call you."

He watched his new little girl eat hungrily. "I like the name Carly," he whispered.

"Carly Elizabeth Cullen."

He swallowed hard and nodded, words failing him. Finishing up with the baby, he placed her gently back in the glass crib and then flung himself at Bella, burying his face in her lap. She rubbed his back in a slow, soothing pattern until he fell asleep.

**B|E**

The sound of the baby crying woke him sometime later, and he jumped to his feed and rushed to her side immediately. "Shhh, your mommy is asleep, baby," he cooed. "What's the—oh." He had realized the problem when he smelled it. The issue was, he had no idea how to change a diaper.

The thought filled him with panic. Bella had to work. Bella had to take care of Nessa, and now Carly too! There was no way he could go back on tour with a baby now. How was she supposed to handle all that by herself? Not that he would be much help anyway, he didn't even know how to change a diaper. He had no clue what to do, so he paged the nurse.

While he waited he thought about the tour. It would have to end now. There were only four months left anyway and there was no way he was leaving his daughters. Nessa needed him, she was growing up so fast and she was such an amazing little girl. She was probably going to be adjusting to the new baby as well and he did not want her to go through that without him.

He had to get Emmett to help him set up a nursery in his house… he thanked God that Bella had moved into his place and not vice versa… or else they would be scrambling for a bigger place to live. There was a spare room that was more like a den, but it could be turned into a nursery with some minor construction and paint jobs. Not to mention he had to get Alice to help him buy the furniture and set it up, and she would want to get Esme involved in designing the perfect nursery and all that but there really wasn't much time.

God, there really was no time! All of these things had to be done before the baby came home, and he would prefer Carly not to have to inhale paint fumes and saw dust when she slept in her new room.

"I can see the smoke coming out of your ears," chuckled the nurse.

Edward gulped. "I have no clue how to change a diaper. I have to get a nursery set up and I don't even have anywhere for her to sleep when she gets home and I can,t leave Bella here alone to care for a baby when she has so many other things to do and-"

"Whooooaaaaa, let's start with the diaper, okay? The rumor is that your brother and sister are already working on that stuff. You just relax and enjoy being a dad. Now here's what we do…"

He felt much better after the nurse left. He phoned Alice. "What the heck, Pix!"

"What did I do now?"

"You could tell me you were bringing the decorating Nazis to my house to get a nursery together. I all but had a panic attack and the nurse comes here and tells me you all are working on it!"

"We wanted to surprise you. You prolly have to leave in a few days and we'll have to get it done on our own anyways."

He frowned in confusion. "Leave? Where?"

"Back to tour, duh?"

"I'm not leaving, Alice."

"The hell you aren't. Bella is going to throw your ass out within a few days of when she comes home, so you can either go back to tour or you can sleep on the door step until September."

"What…?"

"I have to go we're ordering a crib. Talk to you later! Love you…"

"You too, Pix," he said to the empty line. He turned to where Bella was now wide awake. "Hi Bella baby. How do you feel love?"

"Like I had a baby," she chuckled.

"Bella… I can't go back to tour."

She looked alarmed. "Why not? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong at all… I just cant leave you here like this."

"Edward I'll be fine. Its not like I never had a baby before."

"You were completely unprepared for this… we're completely unprepared for this! I refuse to leave you here in a situation for which you had no preparation."

"I think you worry too much."

"I think it was a mistake to ever leave. I miss you all the time, I want you so much. I want to see my daughter, I want to read to her and teach her and I want to tuck my baby in at night and I wanna sit in the rocking chair with her and I want to be with my family. It's all I can think about, it's all I want, its all I breathe… and I can't!" His voice broke over the last word.

"Oh Edward…"

"I can't leave you like this."

"Baby, your tour is almost over, yeah? You have made it this far you can't give up. You are living one of your dreams, to be a concert pianist and play all over the world. Your other dream to be with us here will be waiting for you when you come back."

He was silent for a long time, thinking. "You promise?" He finally asked. He did not want a repeat of the Lauren fiasco. Not with his children involved.

She reached up to his face, and he leaned into her touch. His light stubble scratched across her palm as he turned slightly to press a kiss into it. "I promise, Edward."

He sighed. "Are you sure you will be okay?"

"Absolutely."

"Well… fine. But, I refuse to go anywhere at all until I'm sure you and Nessa and Carly are settled in at home, and that Nessa has a way to get to school if you can't go and—"

"Okay, okay," she giggled, tugging him closer.

He snuggled into her warmth, pressing soft kisses to her cheek and neck. "I love you baby," he mumbled into her skin. "I don't want to go."

"I know."

"Come with me."

She chuckled. "That's gotten a little bit complicated now, hasn't it?"

He frowned. He hadn't thought of that. Even if the doctors said it was safe he wasn't about to let Bella or Carly fly anywhere, especially to a destination half way around the world. Carly would only be two months and it was hours and hours of being in a stuffy plane and…

Just think about it was making him cranky. He shook his head. "You aren't going to Russia with me."

"I could catch up with you later on instead of just two months…"

He was shaking his head before she was done. "No, I think it's best for you and Nessa and Carly to stay here safe and sound. I'll be back soon, I promise."

She smiled up at him. "Alright then. Thank you for coming Edward. You didn't have to cancel all your stuff for this. I know Mike wouldn't have."

"Of course I did! I love you and I was worried. And Mike was just an asshole, he didn't deserve you at all. I had to come see that you were okay because that's what husbands and fathers do. You don't have to thank me for that."

"Have you talked to Nessa?"

"Yeah. She was a little bit anxious, you know? She wonders if I will treat her differently since she isn't a blood daughter like Carly is. But I talked to her and she seems sort of excited about the whole thing."

He told Bella about his conversation with Nessa. He had been completely appalled that she could even think something so awful. His body physically rejected the thought that he would ever love Nessa any less. She was his in every way that mattered and he made damn sure she knew it. When he'd called her this morning, she'd skipped school, much to his disappointment, to do some baby shopping with Alice, Rosalie, and Esme. She proudly bragged about picking blankets and curtains to match the scheme that Esme had chosen for the room, and she and Alice had chosen lights and night lights, a diaper genie, a cool changing table, and a rocking chair. He was glad that she was getting so excited about having a sister, but he really wished she'd gone to school.

"Sounds like she's happy about it now."

"Yeah, she'll be okay I think."

"Yeah she will, Edward. We all will."

He smiled and pressed a tender kiss to Bella's lips before going hunting for lunch.


	21. Twenty

_Playlist: Daughters, John Mayer; You, Fisher; Breakaway, Kelly Clarkson; Higher Ground, Alexz Johnson; _

* * *

Edward spent the next three days running between his insane sister telling him to get stuff for the baby's room, the hospital, and bringing Nessa to and from school. He had to return paint because the paint mixing person got the wrong shade, and he had to argue with the poor man even though he couldn't care less about what shade of pink his daughter's room was as long as she had a place to rest. He went to the Next Day Floors people and bought some nice soft carpet for the room, which previously had wooden floors. He helped Nessa with her homework, fed the baby, fed Bella, and ran back to the house when Rosalie fell off a ladder, causing her ankle to swell up in pain. He rushed her back to the hospital only to find that Rosalie was going to have to sit this one out due to her broken ankle. He then had to pick up her slack for the next two days, while still helping Nessa and helping with the baby…

It was the most stressful three days he'd ever had to live. But he did it all with a giant smile on his face because at the end of those three days he was going to bring Bella and his baby home. He was going to get his family settled and he was going to take care of them as best as he knew how. He was determined to make this as stress free for Bella, Nessa, and Carly as possible. Even if it meant he had to go out of his mind over it.

At night Bella slept and he sat in front of the window to the nursery, keeping a vigilant eye on his daughter until he could hardly keep his eyes open. He'd never had so many coffee drinks and energy drinks in his life as he did in those days because he fell asleep at four in the morning and was awake again at five-thirty to feed his baby and get Bella comfortable for the day before going to the house to work on the nursery. He would have lunch with Bella before running off again to pick up Nessa or pick up supplies or whatever deliveries the girls had ordered for furniture or accessories.

And he still did it all with a giant smile on his face. The nurses would joke, saying "Here comes Smiley face Cullen" and other things of that nature. He just grinned and winked at them before ducking into Bella's room to kiss her because he missed her insanely in all the time he was gone.

He had just ducked into her room to find her curled up on the bed sound asleep. She looked so beautiful that he thought his heart was going to tear a hole in his chest so it could get out and run to her. She winced slightly and he realized she was still in pain from the rather frightening delivery, and he frowned. He knew that would slow her down for some time after he was gone.

Sorrow clawed at him and he toed off his shoes and slipped into bed next to her, burying his face in her hair and trying to stop tears from overflowing. He wanted so much to be with his family that his other dreams meant nothing to him. He could forget the fame and the money. He could forget the travel… it was exhausting anyway, and he never got to do as much of the touristic activities as he wanted because he was always rehearsing. Besides he was so lonely after it never mattered that he was sold out or that there were crowds surrounding him and people who wanted to just be _seen_ with him. At the end of the night, he was always alone…

"Edward."

"My Bella," he whispered his voice raw.

He saw the concern in her eyes when she turned to look at him. "Baby what's wrong?"

"It's nothing really… I'm just… not looking forward to going back to tour."

"Edward, this is your dream, you wanted this so badly-"

"No," he shot off the bed so fast she flinched. "All of it! The money, the traveling I always wanted to do, the fame, the glory, whatever it all was… it means nothing to me anymore. Don't you understand? The only thing I'll ever want that badly again is you! You, my daughters, my home. That's all I want, it's all I need…"

"Baby, I understand. I understand that it has all taken a sort of back seat to your family, but I don't want that. I want you to continue this for us. Because we _need_ the money now. We need you to be a man of your word and finish what you started. You should see Nessa talking to her friends about you…"

_**Flashback, four months ago**_

"_Momma, I'm home! I brought Marcella and Courtney."_

"_Oh," she said in surprise. Marcella and Courtney were two of her friends from school who also were on her Gymnastics team. Marcella was a genuine friend, but Courtney reminded her a lot of Edward's ex, Lauren, and Bella despised her superficiality and attitude."Do you girls want me to get a snack for you?"_

"_Cookies please, momma," grinned Nessa before dragging her friends upstairs. _

"_No cookies for me, Ms. Swan. Those make you fat," the eleven year old huffed._

_Nessa raised an eyebrow. "Really? I saw the coach on the cheerleading team tell you that if you wanted to be a flyer still next year you had to lose weight. I don't ever see you eating cookies." Courtney glared at her, but she just rolled her eyes. "Let's go upstairs. I have homework to do before gym."_

"_So," Bella heard Courtney ask as they headed to Nessa's room, "My father says his company is going to be a sponsor for our team in the next gymnastics competition. Are your parents coming?"_

_Bella seethed at the low blow._

"_Why the hell would you ask her that Courtney? You know her dad isn't around, what is wrong with you?"_

"_What? I was just asking. Besides he's not really her dad. He could just not come back; he's not obligated to stay here."_

"_Seriously, I'll see you both at gym. I'm not standing around for this crap." Marcella stomped down the stairs._

_Bella hustled to pretend she was working on a snack for them but she paid close attention to what Nessa said next. It brought tears to her eyes._

"_He is my dad," she hissed, "and he's only gone because he has to work to take care of us. My father is one of the most popular pianists in the world and he is much cooler than your dad because he teaches me the things he knows and he takes care of me. He WILL come back and when he does he will be so famous that your stupid dad won't need to sponsor us."_

_**End flashback**_

"She said that?"

"Yeah. She is so proud of you, baby. I'm so glad my daughters have a dad they can be proud of. There's nothing I want more in my life."

Edward felt his heart warm. He hadn't realized Nessa thought so highly of him.

"Edward you need to finish this tour off. You need to be the man you daughter wants you to be."

He sat down on the bed, studying his hands which were in his lap. He could do this, he thought. He could do this for them. They were his life and he had to sacrifice his feelings for just a few more months so that he could be the husband and father they needed him to be. They were what brought him back to life. They made him so happy he could hardly breathe from it sometimes.

And he now had a new muse for him to compose about. He was going to play and sing for his baby. He had made Bella's Lullaby quite popular. He would make a song for Carly and Nessa too.

**E|B**

She worried about him constantly. The thought of leaving made him so depressed that she was pretty sure he'd do something as drastic as pretend to have a bomb or something in order to not have to leave.

He confessed to her that his views on life had changed. That his focus wasn't that of fame and women and money. In those moments he looked so vulnerable that she wished she could jump out of bed and into his arms and just hold him. As far as she could remember, she never saw Mike look as full of love for her or his daughter, as Edward had then. She'd never seen him lay all his heart on the line and be so willing to give up anything. Edward on the other hand had pretty much said that he'd rather be a broke nobody than be without her.

She was always comparing him with Mike. Honestly she had no clue how or why, because there was no comparison.

_I don't want competition that's dead._ Edward had said that. And she'd sworn that Mike was no competition, but everything that happened was compared to her past with him.

She looked down at herself. She had Edward's engagement ring on her finger on her left hand and it didn't feel heavy, like it did when she'd had Mike's wedding ring—

_Enough!_ She painfully slid out of bed and went to the little cabinet where her personal belongings had been stowed. Pulling out her purse, she dug through it, taking everything out and replacing it, dumping it out on the floor and searching, until she found the simple gold band. She didn't know why she'd kept it for so long. Yes, Mike was Nessa's father. Biologically. But he would never be half the man or half the father that Edward had been, not just today, but in all the time they'd been together.

Standing, she moved toward the trash can. Taking one last look at the ring, she said goodbye. Goodbye to Mike, goodbye to the anger and pain she had felt because of him. Goodbye to the lies, the wasted time, the wasted tears, the lonely nights, the devastation she'd lived in after his death. Goodbye to the betrayal, the fear, the loss. The awful feeling of being used by someone you care about.

The ring was swallowed up by the empty white trash bag, and she smiled, squaring her shoulders. She was going to be with Edward forever. She was going to higher ground.

"I love you, Bella baby," said Edward from the doorway. He had apparently been watching the whole thing, but he had not so much as breathed, so she didn't know he was there until he spoke, scaring the bejesus out of her.

"Edward! What the-?"

He cut her off by pressing his lips urgently against hers. "God I love you," he whispered between kisses. "I love you, I won't let you down."

She was still dazed from his lips. He had that effect on her. But she had to know, "how long had you been standing there?"

He beamed again, lifting her up and spinning her around before placing her on the bed to kiss her more. "Long enough, Bella baby. Long enough."

**B|E**

All this time he knew that she'd been holding on to her past. All this time he'd wondered if some part of her was still in love with that prick. All this time, almost two years, he'd been afraid that she would let him go because of her old life, just like Lauren had. All this time he'd wondered if there was another man in her life, one he could not compete with because he had sunk his filthy claws into her and then passed away.

All this time he'd been one hundred percent wrong. All this time he'd been the only one for her, the only one for her daughter. All this time, he had been away and not realized what he had in front of him. All this time he'd missed her because of the fear that she'd leave.

Now he knew. He watched her dig through her purse and pull up the most important reminder of his existence. He'd asked her so many times why she kept it. She always shrugged and said, "As a reminder." Reminder of what? He'd ask, but she'd change topics or stop talking all together and stare out the window. But today, she'd said it all. It was a reminder of the bitterness and pain and loss. It was a reminder of the betrayal, of her wounded heart and pride. It was a reminder that she had clung to him even though he had left her. And she was done clinging.

She'd smiled, and her chin had come up, and her shoulders had squared. She was determined to move forward with him. She loved only him, and in return he loved her with every fiber of his being. Together they would make it to higher ground.


	22. TwentyOne

**A/N: I wanna thank my anonymous reviewer **_**Victoria**_** for reviewing every chapter from the beginning. and I want to answer to some points of confusion that you had that I'm sure other people wonder about too, so here we go:**

**In the original twilight series, Alice's full name is Mary Alice Brandon. When she's changed she just sticks to Alice. So in this story her full name is Mary Alice Whitlock Cullen, because she took Jasper's name when she married him. But we still call her Alice, although Edward calls her Pix sometimes.**

**The reason why Bella threw away her ring was more of a thing of symbolism. If she had sold it, it would assume that the old marriage was still something of value. Her marriage to Mike means nothing to her anymore, so it shouldn't be turned into something she can make money from. So that's pretty much the symbolism of it. She's acknowledging that she wants to start her life with Edward for real and she is done clinging to the areas of her past that are dark and have no value.**

**And I'm glad you and I have similar tastes in music its nice to know I'm not crazy :P**

**And although no one asked this, yes, it is medically possible to be pregnant and not know it. You have to have certain things going on, irregularity or whatever… so you won't notice if you missed a period or whatever. But yes, if the conditions are right it is completely possible to go eight or nine months without noticing that you are pregnant.**

**We're sadly coming to the conclusion of this story. There might be one or two more chapters… I cant tell you because I'm winging it here lol. But our Piano Man's tour is almost over and soon he'll come home to his happily ever after and I won't screw around with his head anymore.**

**Which is really too bad, because I happen to like his head. **

**And the lot of you have a twisted mind. That isn't what I meant. Besides Bella would kill me :P**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it made me smile. Enjoy the first Vanessa POV at length, I hope you all like it.**

**Cheers!**

**~temporary insanity**

* * *

_Playlist: none_

* * *

**E|V**

Sleep was such a luxury since Carly came home. She loved her sister but honestly she felt like since she came home the time for basic human need had dwindled. She was in the process of feeding her sister _again_ when her dad called.

And yes, he was her dad. Maybe not by blood, but she didn't care. She was just happy to have a dad. She loved him and he loved her too. Sometimes she was afraid that his time, like theirs, would be consumed by his full blood daughter and leave her in the dust.

"Daddy," she crowed into the phone.

"Hey baby girl. How are you honey?"

"I'm good. Marcella got first place on the high bar in sectionals."

"oh wow. Your team did well?"

"Yeah! We got first place!"

"Congratulations, Vanessa honey, I'm proud of you."

"Thank you daddy."

"You keeping up in school?"

She grimaced.

"Vanessa?" her father's voice had an edge of warning.

"Yeah?"

"What happened, honey?"

"I don't know. I have a C in English. And I have a C in math. And..."

"And?"

"An F in history."

"You're mumbling honey I can't hear you."

"I'm failing history," she mumbled again. She braced herself for a lecture, tears pooling in her eyes. She didn't want to be failing. There was just too much going on in her life.

Instead of a lecture, she was surprised by a sigh. "What can I do to help you, Nessa?"

"What?" she blurted, confused.

"What is keeping you from doing well in class honey?"

She started to cry. "It's too hard to have to do my homework when I have gym and piano and Carly and… I can't sleep very well because mommy is always taking care of Carly when she cries and I cant concentrate at school and I don't know what to do."

He sighed again. "I'll talk to your mum sweetheart. Hang in there, there's only one month left of school. You need to try to push yourself as hard as you can, okay?"

"Okay daddy," she sniffed.

"You can do it sweetheart. I know you can."

"You aren't mad at me?"

"No, honey. I know this has been an eventful couple of years for you. I'm sorry that it has affected your schooling but you need to work as hard as you can to get your grades up, okay?

"Thank you daddy."

"I love you Nessa, honey. Put your mum on the line for me, okay?"

"Okay." She skipped off to find her mom.

That night she heard her parents argue over the phone. She didn't need to hear much to know it was about her. She was sad about that, because she didn't mean to make anyone angry. She didn't want dad to go away. It was the thing she was most fearful of. Her momma was so happy with him and Carly that she mostly kept her problems to herself, so that she wouldn't upset anyone.

So her parents argued, and she sat in Carly's room and played music to block out the arguing. Soon she was asleep. She didn't want to be in the way.

**V|E**

He wished he was home. If he was home, his daughter would not be struggling with all of the things she was, and her grades would be better.

He'd fought with Bella that night.

_**Flashback, two nights ago**_

"_Bella baby."_

"_Hey. I miss you."_

"_I miss you too. We need to talk about Nessa's grades."_

"_Nessa's grades? What's wrong with Nessa's grades?"_

"_Where have you been? She's failing her history courses and she's got C's and D's in several others."_

"_Where have I been? I've been taking care of our baby around the clock. Where have _you_ been, Edward?"_

"_I've been exactly where _you_ wanted me to be. Nessa needs help with her schooling. She can't do it alone."_

"_Edward there's only so much I can do."_

"_Bella, I understand that but-"_

"_Edward if you were here you could help but you are not, so back off. I can't believe you are sitting all the way over there telling me how to raise my daughter."_

"_Well _YOU_ are the one who swore to me up and down that you could handle being there alone, number one. Number two, she is MY daughter because that is how you wanted it to be. So yes, that is exactly what I am doing. I am telling you that you need to help her because she didn't ask for a new sister and new chores and new things to do. We did that. And we need to fix it. And _we_ means you because you swore to me that you could handle it. So now you are going to have to find a way to do just that."_

_**End flashback**_

Now he spent every minute worrying about her. Did she have to stay up to do her homework too late? Did she get enough rest to still do her extra-curricular activities? If her coaches in gymnastics found out about her grades they could suspend her from the team. She would take that so hard.

He hadn't regretted his decision to go back to tour until then. He had had a fantastic turn out for all of his concerts from the start, thanks to the marketing and the promotion that had happened prior to his arrival. The money had come in like a flood, and he and Bella decided to start a college fund for Nessa, pay off the mortgage, and buy another property outside of Forks, all in the first few months. He had gone ahead and opened another college fund for Carly and had set apart some cash for some projects Bella wanted to get out of the way. She wanted to do a doctorate degree in literature, and she wanted to donate to the construction of a bigger gymnastics studio for Nessa's team. There was money set aside of course, for the wedding and honeymoon. They had also planned to put Nessa in private school but her grades could put the kibosh on that.

He groaned. There was too much going on and he was ready to go home and work it all out. He missed them all, but that had lessened over time as his fear went away. It wasn't as excruciating as it used to be, although now with Nessa's issues it was getting sort of stressful.

What Bella had said to him about Nessa being _her _daughter had stung a little bit. He knew that she wasn't his biologically. Nessa knew it too. He didn't need that rubbed in his face. All he wanted to do was help.

"Edward, mate, rehearsal is back on in 5."

"Yeah… Hello?" he picked up his phone, as it had rung when the guy with the funky accent had walked in. it was a weird accent. Like a cross between South Africa, New Zealand, and England.

"Edward?"

"What is it Bella? I have rehearsal in five."

"I just… called to say goodnight," she whispered, and he could hear the hurt in her voice.

"I'm sorry, love," he relented, "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I… um, I owe you an apology."

He sighed. "Bella, baby, we need to talk about this at length, yeah? I'm sorry I'm so busy, I promise I'll call you back and we can talk."

"I know… I was really mean to you and I'm sorry."

"It's okay baby. I'm sorry too, Bella baby, I know this is hard for you. All of this is almost over, okay? Then I will be home to help you. I love you, and I love Nessa and Carly, and I only want the best for all of you, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

"Don't cry, baby."

"I'm not crying, I promise. Carly just fell asleep on me."

He smiled. "Send me a picture."

"I do every day don't I?"

He laughed. "Yes you do. It makes me miss you more. I have to go honey, I need to go to the rehearsal."

"Alright. I love you."

"As I love you, Bella baby."


	23. Twenty Two

_playlist: none_

* * *

It was the final concert of his tour. She was finally in the hotel with her daughters and the Cullens. Carlisle Cullen was his usual, elegant self in a clack tux and bowtie. Emmett looked uncomfortable in his. Jasper was not wearing a tux, but a simple, slightly southern-style suit. Rosalie was stunning in a full length black dress with a high neck halter top and Alice was dressed in a shimmering silvery-periwinkle dress that made her eyes shine. Esme was wearing a long-sleeved scoop neck dress that hugged her in all the right places and had Carlisle wondering if they could stay in the hotel.

She herself was standing in front of the mirror, staring at her body, wrapped in a ruby colored sleeveless evening gown. There was no still evidence of her having had a child five months earlier. Her daughter had grown into a beautiful girl with her hair and eyes and Edward's… everything else. Including her hard head, she grumbled to herself as she heard Carly protest loudly to having her diaper changed.

Nessa was practically vibrating with excitement. The Cullens had not told Edward that she and the girls were coming, so it was a surprise for him for them to be there. "Mommy can we go now?" She asked for the hundredth time.

"Not yet baby girl."

After a moment, "Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"You look really, really beautiful."

She smiled at her daughter through the mirror. "So do you, sweetie."

**B|E**

It was his final concert. he was backstage in the dressing room that was prepared for him, staring into the full length mirror while waiting for his family. He studied himself. His eyes were different, his face was different, the set of his shoulders were different. The last time he'd been standing in front of the mirror in the dressing room before his final concert, he was also different. His eyes were empty and his face was blank. Now he was…

A father. That was the thing that blew his mind the most. He had gained in two years not only the love of his life, but also a family of his own. Nessa was the daughter of his dreams. And she was _his._ Not by blood, and not even legally… yet… but he loved her with the passion that a father could only have for the best daughter ever made. And then he had Carly. Carly was his in every way, and he missed her every day. She had grown so much without her. But now, he grinned into the mirror as he realized, he'd never have to be without her or Nessa again.

Satisfied. He could even tolerate his adopted siblings which had too much energy for their own good. He wanted for nothing, because he had the one thing he needed the most: Bella. She was his world now. She had been what he needed to heal from his past. Never again would he look into this mirror and feel empty and alone. Because of her.

He adjusted his tie one last time just as a knock echoed from the door. He swung it open and a shriek sounded that made his ears ring, and he was almost barreled over. "Daddy!" the sound made his ears ring, but it was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.

He held Nessa close, tears blurring his vision. "Nessa… oh Nessa I missed you. I missed you, honey."

"I missed you too, daddy."

**E|B**

Watching Edward with her made Bella wish she had recorded the moment. Nessa had almost toppled him over and he looked so confused and relieved at the same time. It was comical to see his face while he tried to understand what was happening. His expression had resolved into one of pure, breathtaking joy as he wrapped his arms around his daughter. He'd let go of her briefly to squeeze Bella tightly to him and kiss her lips and the spot near her ear that made her shiver. The rest of his family also got brief hugs, but after that he hung on to Nessa and Carly like they were sewed onto his suit.

Which he looked too handsome in for his own good. Seeing him again after so many months, dressed in a tuxedo, no less, made her head spin. Her memory of him did not do him justice at all, and she couldn't wait to get that damn teasing tux off of him later.

She looked around. Edward's dressing room had several couches and plenty of space to entertain anyone who needed to see him backstage. He was sitting next to her with Carly in his lap and Nessa snuggled into his side on one end of one of the couches, and Emmett and Rosalie were on the other end, looking quite cozy as the family talked and reunited. Chairs had been brought for Carlisle and Esme who sat holding hands. Alice and Jasper…

Alice and Jasper were not touching in any way. they were on the other couch separated. Bella nudged Edward's side. "Edward look," she hissed.

"Huh?" he shifted Carly so he could turn without displacing Nessa. "What is it, Bella Baby?"

"Look."

He looked around curiously, his eyes widening when they landed on Alice and Jasper. "She's too quiet," he muttered to himself suspiciously, studying them. His face suddenly darkened and he stood, putting Carly in her lap.

"Edward?" she looked up at him questioningly.

He walked over and stood directly in front of Alice, causing the room to fall silent. "Mary Alice Whitlock Cullen."

Her back straightened and her chin came up. "Edward Anthony Cullen."

He stared at her for a long time, and she stared right back. His face darkened even more.

Sweat broke out on Jasper's face.

"How dare you lay hands on my sister!" Edward roared suddenly, turning on Jasper. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

"Edward, I-"

"What. Did. You. Do." His voice was deadly.

Emmett stood, glaring at Jasper who swallowed hard.

"Let's please talk about this calmly." Carlisle's voice was quiet and calm.

"Calmly? He put his filthy hands on my sister!"

Nessa shook at the sound of his voice, and Bella herself trembled as he glared at his brother-in-law with barely controlled rage. "Edward… baby, you're scaring Nessa, sweetheart," she said as calmly as she could.

Edward deflated as he took in the expression on Nessa's face, then Bella's. someone knocked on the door announcing that Edward had five more minutes before the performance.

He turned to her, kneeling in front of her and kissing her forehead, burying his nose in her hair. "I love you, Bella Baby. I will see you after the show, okay?" his voice was low and smooth, trying to soothe her. He spoke the same way to Nessa, telling her that he loved her and that he would be with her tonight when she went to bed. He held little Carly close, breathing in her scent to calm himself even more, and then he stood. "I have to go. We'll skip the after party today. I want to be here when my daughters go to sleep." He turned to Jasper. "We _will_ finish this conversation."

**B|E**

He wanted to kill him. He had never felt this sort of rage in his life. He had _hurt_ Alice. He laid hands his sister. He couldn't understand how someone could dare to lay hands on her. That was like… someone hurting Bella, or Nessa or Carly. His mind was consumed with rage as he followed the thought through. If anyone ever touched them, they would die. He would kill them if he went to jail forever. He was considering choking Jasper till he was blue in the face. His family mattered to him, and he wouldn't let anyone get away with hurting them.

It was like a bucket of iced water to him to see his daughter shiver repeatedly with her eyes wide as saucers and see Bella with her arms instinctively wrapped around Carly protectively. He couldn't do this in front of them. He needed to calm down. The smell of her hair and that amazing perfume she was wearing soothed him, as did the scent of Carly's hair. Nessa was dressed beautifully and he held her close, too, kissing her forehead and promising to be home to tuck her in. He was a father first and foremost, and he missed his daughters. He would be with them tonight no matter what. He owed them that much after scaring the wits out of them.

Missing the party tonight would be a small price to pay to just be with his family after all of this was over for good. He would deal with Jasper—he thought the name in disgust—later. After letting him know that, he strode from the room and poured himself into his last performance. Since Bella, Nessa, and Carly were in the crowd tonight, he made sure to speak especially to them about the music he'd written for them. He poured every ounce of feeling into them that he had, hoping with every note that he communicated his love for them and how much he had missed them.

After playing the last piece, Bella's Lullaby, he motioned her up to the stage and she came. He folded his arms around her and held her close before kissing her tenderly and then bowing formally with her to end the evening. She looked so breath taking in that red dress that matched her engagement ring and her deep chocolate eyes sparkling with elation. He couldn't wait to be with her tonight.

His thoughts turned angry again. But first, he'd deal with his former best friend and brother-in-law.

* * *

**A/N: well i just want to say very quickly, thanks for all your encouragement and patience with my rather inconsistent updating. i hope this chapter is satisfactory and i hope i can get more out to you guys soon. i should be posting soon for another story i started and never continued in order to finish this one, it's called "If I Were You" and it's a You-POV i thought i would try. so let me know what you guys think on both stories!**

**cheers,**

**~temporary insanity.**


	24. Twenty Three

_Playlist: none_

* * *

"Well?"

"We haven't been doing so well okay? She's just… we've been trying… you know, for kids. And it hasn't happened and we're both frustrated."

"What does that have to do with you hitting Alice?"

"I didn't hit her! I would never hurt her okay? She's been acting out. Drinking and stuff. We had an argument and she was just being stupid and I had to restrain her. That's all."

Edward was ready to put the beat-down on his brother-in-law. Even with the air-Marshall glaring at his head from the back of the plane. "Restrain her?" he growled.

Jasper got in his face. "Would you rather me have let her drive off and wrap her car around a tree? Because if she weren't so angry and didn't have the grace of an angel she wouldn't have been able to even walk straight! She was more wasted than I'd ever seen her and as pissed as I was I couldn't let her ruin her life or the life of someone else. Would you rather her kill herself? Or end up like Cookie, guilty and miserable for the rest of her life? I didn't think so, so back the hell off! Stay out of my relationship."

He blinked.

"Yeah, that's right. She was already inside the car with the key in the ignition before I realized what was happening and I had to haul her ass back inside. She fought me, but I got her out of the car and inside. That is why she got hurt. I didn't mean to hurt her but I wasn't going to let her do something stupid."

"She's still mad at you?" Edward was totally deflated. This wasn't what he expected at all.

"Yeah. She um… she filed for legal separation before we came here. She's moving out." Jasper stared out the window.

"I'm so sorry… I had no idea. Look, I'll talk to Pix, okay?"

"No. Look, I told you to stay out of this. We need to figure this out ourselves."

Edward sighed. "Okay."

**E|B**

"Alice, are you going to tell me what happened?"

"No. it's not your business. We're separated, so it doesn't matter anymore."

"What the hell…?"

"Just leave it, Bella."

"I can't 'just leave it' if he's beating you, Alice, be reasonable."

"He's not beating me, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"Alice…"

"I'm jealous, okay? Of my best friend and my brother! I know I'm a horrible person but it's not fair that I love Jasper more than anyone and I can't even… and then you're all happy with babies and kids and…" she started to cry.

"Oh Alice…" Bella's heart and stomach seemed to be somewhere around her toes. "How long have you guys been trying?"

"Almost a year." She stared out the window, sipping her coffee.

"Alice, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you were too busy being happy in your own little world with my bro-"

"Cut that shit out, Alice. We've been best friends for years. What happened, damnit?"

"I might have been drinking a little… and I fought with Jasper… and I didn't think, I just got in the car."

"Alice… what the hell! After everything…"

"Jasper dragged me out of the car and took me inside."

"Oh."

"I called Rose to come get me and I stayed at hers for the night."

"Alice…"

"Look, I know what you're going to say, okay? I don't want to hear it. I'm not going to ruin someone's life like yours got ruined… blah blah blah…"

"That's not what I was going to say. And you can stop being all defensive with me, Mary Alice, because it doesn't fly with me anymore. You're the only sister I've ever had. And I love you like my sister. I just want you to be happy. Jasper makes you happy. Kids or no kids, he does. He's _your_ Edward. Don't throw away what you have with him because of a night of drinking and stupid mistakes. We've known enough of that haven't we?"

Alice sniffed and nodded. "I'm sorry."

"I know, Alice. Go home, honey."

She flung her arms around Bella and cried for a long time. After a while, she wiped her face with the back of her hand. "Sorry about your shirt."

Bella shrugged and chuckled. "You'll probably force me to get a new one anyway."

Alice giggled. "I was going to say how nice it was to see you grow a backbone, but now…"

Bella swatted at her as she skipped away, jumping into her car and heading back home to her husband.

**a few weeks later…**

She woke up to the smell of bacon and the sound of giggles. "Morning you two," she said sleepily, peeling an eye open to peer into the morning light. Edward was holding a tray with Eggs, toast, bacon, and fresh fruit while Nessa and Carly giggled and made faces. "Three," she mumbled the correction.

She was rewarded with a sweet coo from her baby.

They had been home for a few weeks, and Edward was surprised to find all his students, Nessa included, anxiously waiting for him to return and teach them again. He jumped into teaching again, adding a part-time job at the local middle school. He taught mornings at the school and had his private classes in the afternoon. Cookie's business was booming and soon people from even outside Forks were coming in to taste the food and hear Edward play.

Today was Saturday and he was not teaching, and they had decided to spend the day outside followed by another night at Cookie's listening to Edward's… magic. Because that's what it was. It was magic, not music. It was enchanting and amazing and so absorbing that, as excellent as the food was, people stopped eating to concentrate on it. Nessa soon was at the top of her class again, and they allowed her to go to a private school outside of Port Angeles where she joined the choir as both a vocalist and the pianist. She and her gymnastics team were also currently the top in the state, and as she started middle school she became very popular. She and Edward had become very close and so the topic of this morning's conversation made him choke on his bacon.

"Daddy, Jake Black invited me to the Cinema in Port Angeles tomorrow night."

Edward sputtered and his face turned very red which caused Bella to burst out laughing. Edward glared at her before regaining his composure. "Who else is going?"

"Just us, daddy."

"If you think you're going on a _date_ with this Jake Black character you're out of your bloody mind."

"Daddy, don't be that way," she pouted, casting her mom a pleading look. "He's the most popular boy in the school, daddy. He plays soccer like me. And he's an Eighth Grader. Daddy!"

"Which means he hit puberty, which means he certainly isn't worried about your soccer playing abilities. You aren't going alone. Invite Marcella or someone else and your mom or myself will be chaperoning."

"Daddy," she whined, but Edward cut her off.

"What time do we need to be there?"

Nessa pouted and stomped off to her room, muttering about how much parents sucked and how life was unfair.

Bella giggled as Edward muttered about Jake Black defiling her innocence.

"She can't date until she's thirty-five. I need to get a bat."

"A bat? What the hell for?"

"For Jake Black and the likes of him," he muttered.

She laughed harder. "You want to threaten Nessa's dates with a bat? I don't think she's going to like that."

"She's barely a teenager; she's not old enough to date."

"You sound like you're going to have an aneurysm any second now."

"Will you please take this seriously? Please?"

"Will you stop worrying? You already said you would chaperone, so he won't defile her innocence. I promise. Now finish your food."

Edward finally stopped his pacing and muttering and sat down on the edge of the bed again to eat. "I still don't think she should date until she's thirty."

"Well, when I met you I wasn't thirty. My father used shotguns, not bats."

"But that's different!"

"How is it different?"

"Because… because I… you…"

"Give it up Edward," she giggled. "It's not any different and she's going to date before she's thirty whether you like it or not."

"I need to see about getting a shotgun…"

**B|E**

The 'date' was a nightmare. He didn't even know what happened in the blasted movie, but he knew this Jacob fellow was bad news from the moment he tried to choose a movie that was rated above PG-13. A horror movie! Above PG-13! The boy obviously didn't know much about impressing a girl's parents. Nessa of course, following the cliché, chose a romantic comedy. Edward chose an action movie that seemed to have as little to do with sex as possible. He was seriously edgy about this whole date thing. The "Don't get cable" commercial about how the daughter dated and married an 'undesirable' and the guy had a baby with a spiky dog collar played in his mind over and over and he shuddered uncontrollably while watching the kid's hands like a hawk the whole movie. It was the worst night of his life.

He let out a sigh of relief when Jacob was dropped off at his home.

"Was that so bad, daddy?"

"Yes, it really was," he admitted sheepishly.

"Why? How come you don't want me to be happy?"

"I do want you to be happy, Nessa. More than anything. That's why I need you to wait."

"Wait? Why? Nobody waits anymore. This one girl in my class, they found her with some other boy in the stairwell. They were doing, you know, it."

Edward cringed. "Honey, those girls… they won't be happy by doing 'it' in stairwells during class, or dating the most popular boy. They need… someone that really respects them and cares about them. They won't realize that until too late. I don't want that to happen to you."

"Daddy? Do you think… that if I start dating now I'll marry someone like my old daddy?"

Edward thought for a moment. Nessa rarely talked about her biological father, so this was something he did not want to screw up. "Your mom got married young, sweetheart. She thought she could be happy with your father. Not everyone is as unlucky as you and your mom were, because not all men are like that. But you see, it takes time to find the right guy. You definitely won't find the right guy at the age of eleven. Will you… _please_… wait until you can drive before you go on dates with boys?"

"Until I can drive? But that's ages away!"

"It is sooner than you think, love."

"Okay," she said glumly, sighing.

"And Vanessa, I need you to know that I was your age once, and so was your mom. You might feel like we don't know what you are going through, but we do. And that is why we need you to listen to us about the boys you will go out with."

"No!"

"Vanessa… what do you think would have happened if your mom had decided not to marry Mike, and wait? Her life would have been different right? Don't you think she wishes someone told her that she wouldn't be happy with him?"

"Well… yeah, but then I wouldn't be here."

He chuckled. "I'm very glad you are here. And I want you to be happy. So trust me, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, daddy."

He smiled. "I love you too, sweetheart."

The next day, Nessa told Jake that she didn't like him anymore, and Edward took the bat out of the coat closet and put it back in the attic.

* * *

**A/N: im so sorry this has taken so long to update. thanks to everyone for their patience. hope you guys enjoyed it. the jasper and alice thing will is pretty much explained here. i'll touch on it again in the epilogue. again, i dont know when that will be because i'm winging this story lol but maybe another chapter and then the epilogue. so i hope you guys have enjoyed this. i love all of your reviews so leave me some more! :)**


	25. Twenty Four

_Playlist: Wedding Plans, Howard Shore; Bless the Broken Road, Selah; Brighter Than Sunshine, Aqualung; Something Beautiful, Newsboys; Over You, Daughtry; If I Fall, Aqualung; The Best Thing, Relient K_

* * *

Looking at herself in the mirrors at the dress shop was surreal. She was barely eighteen the last time she had gone wedding dress shopping. Now she was back, her two baby girls and Alice and Rosalie in tow, to find the dress she would wear when she said 'I do' to him. He already had his tux and would have fittings again within the couple weeks before the wedding. He was mouthwatering, and his eyes had sparkled when he tried it on.

She studied herself in the mirror. Her eyes were bright and her boobs looked alright… and her hips looked way to fat in this dress. Maybe she should stop letting the store's girls find her dresses and let Alice get a look. This was getting ridiculous, and Carly was cranky and hungry.

One look, and Alice agreed. "What was that girl thinking? This isn't some plus-size Cinderella-"

"What's wrong with being plus-sized?" Rosalie protested, slightly horrified.

"Nothing, if you're already plus-sized. The idea of clothing is to make you look good, not give you extra, non-needed curves. Take that disaster off, Bella. Let me see what I can do."

Ten minutes later, Bella tearfully confessed that she found the dress, and the wedding plans continued.

**B|E**

Sundays were his favorite day of the week by far. He'd wake up early and feed his girls, play with them and watch movies, and be inspired to write new things. Not that he'd ever tour his new things again, he learned his lesson. Being away from Bella and his kids was downright excruciating.

Today was a different Sunday, though. Today his girls were down in Port Angeles shopping for dresses. He had some shopping of his own to do. He was picking up the jewelry he bought her for the wedding. And the wedding bands too, of course. Pulling up to the jeweler, he parked the car and grinned. He was humming a show tune under his breath as he walked in the store, he'd never been so happy in all his…

"How can I help you sir... Oh, Mr. Cullen. You're here for your order. I'll get it for you straight away, please sign here."

He flashed a smile at the young woman and she swooned. Dazed, she left to retrieve his jewelry. He frowned.

"Here you are," the girl said, her voice higher and breathier that before. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

He bit back a groan at the semi-subtle innuendo. "Thanks, but no. My _fiancee _and I are quite... satisfied."

Burn. He watched her face fall and she huffed and stalked into the back room. _Rude..._ he huffed and drove away, hoping Bella would be home. He was still muttering about the chick at the jeweler when he parked in the driveway, but the girls ran outside to greet him, their shrieks , giggles, kisses, and laughter erasing the irritating girl from his memory. Bella squealed as she reached in the car for the jewelry, and he smiled as he remember what he had inscribed in her ring. "Tu sei la musica nel mi" is what it read, which translated to "You are the music in me." He'd had Cookie help him since his Italian was a little bit rusty, but it turned out alright. Bella had handed him a piece of paper with what she wanted engraved in his ring, but she'd told him not to read it until he saw the ring, so now he was anxious to know what she'd put there for him.

He followed Bella and Nessa inside with Carly in his arms. Her hair was getting lighter, with the warm bronze-ish red tones that Edward had, but he didn't think it would get any lighter than what it was. She looked more like him every day and he savored every moment he had with her, Bella, and Nessa. They were currently on the couch unwrapping jewelry and giggling like it was Christmas morning. "Do you like it baby?" he asked, setting Carly down and watching her test her balance a little before wobbling away. He would never admit it to anyone, but he might have let out a tear or two when she took her first steps not too long before.

"It's... so beautiful, Edward. Really."

He sat down Next to her and watched her study her necklace and earring set. "Um, this is I guess, your something old, new and blue."

"How so?" she looked up at him and he almost grinned at how cute she looked with her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. He kissed her forehead instead.

"The safe in my parents house was fireproof." She saddened as she always did when he remembered his past. "The pearls belonged to my great grandmother on my biological mother's side. I had them redo the necklace to add the diamond and sapphire accents, and they used those pearls for the earrings too." The necklace actually had two diamond accents and a silver note pendant in he middle that held a sapphire. The earrings were the matching pearls with tiny dangling sapphire accents. He had remembered their first date, and how her skin looked with the dark blue earrings, and he had swallowed hard before making sure the earrings and necklace were dangly and blue. He internally shrugged. She would looked beautiful if she wore jeans to the wedding, which she wasn't. He sincerely hoped that the jewelry went well with the dress... "Hey, I showed you mine, now you showed me yours! Where's the dress?"

Bella giggled and Nessa put her hand on her hip. "You aren't supposed to see it until the wedding day, Daddy."

Bella sent him a mischievous grin. "Nice try, Piano Man."

They both scampered off with the jewelry, giggling and leaving him wondering what had just happened. He hadn't even gotten to see what his wedding band looked like...

Oh dear.

**E|B**

Standing in front of the mirror as Alice and Rosalie fussed over her dress, she tuned them out and contemplated her life. Her decisions in life hadn't been the best, and she'd suffered plenty as a consequence of those choices. But those choices had led her to this room, getting ready to marry the man who had accepted her and her daughter and changed her pain into joy. They had been tested, tried, distanced, brought together, frightened, shaken, but never broken. They were stronger than ever, and they were more than ready for this.

She was ready for this. She realized that the day she finally got rid of Mike's ring. Her past, like Edward's, was sad and painful, but the future held a family, and the future was bright.

Walking down the aisle again was surreal. She didn't trip, and she managed to walk slowly and gracefully even though all she wanted to do was run up, grab his hand, and drag him home. His brilliant and slightly mischievous smile told her he wished she would.

The vows, the ring exchange (when he'd finally seen the inscription in his ring he'd kissed the life out of her) and the final announcement that she was Mrs. Edward Cullen was surreal. The burning in his eyes and in his voice distracted her from everything that was happening around her, and she went through the ceremony in a bit of a daze. When he kissed her, she could feel his very soul searing into her, melting into hers and becoming one with her own just as the minister had blathered about the man leaving his house and becoming one with his wife. She didn't know it could really be that way until she'd felt the shift in her chest where her heart officially let his move in. The tears that had gathered in his eyes told her that he felt it too.

They danced their first dance to a recording of the lullaby he wrote for her and they may as well have been dancing on air, surrounded by clouds, because they felt as if they were flying. Dinner was delicious, and everything was perfect. Edward's smile had yet to leave his face and all the guests that he spoke to caught on to his happiness. It was infectious and everyone was caught up in his joy. Watching him made her heart swell.

"Can you guys hear me? Helloooooo... okay. Hi, I'm Emmett, the best Best Man known to the human race."

Everyone laughed, and Edward rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Oh boy, here we go," he grumbled.

"Well, Edward didn't stick around long. He came to live with us at sixteen, and he was off picking up chicks with his mad piano skills by age 19. I taught him well those three years." More laughter. "He went to Oxford for college. And Alice and I, not to be out-done, went to a ridiculously expensive school in Boston. Edward, I still think that the sorority chicks in Dartmouth are much hotter than the Oxford girls."

Edward shook his head. "Not that it is relevant anymore, but I disagree."

"When mom and dad told us that you were coming home, I was so excited at having a brother. Alice is awesome, but dear God, her female ways, obsession with fashion, and screeching really wears on you." Alice flipped him off, and he laughed before he grew serious. "You came home so alone and sad. Sometimes I wondered if you ever felt like you belonged with us, especially after you left. I swear I did my best to be the best brother known to man. I hated seeing you that way. You ran off to England and then you told us you were engaged... I really thought you had found home. But now looking at you with Bella, and the fact that the only thing I have heard out of your mouth in the past, oh... three years? has been 'of course, Bella Baby,' or 'anything you need, Bella Baby' and the fact that you're prolly the most whipped man alive makes me think that you found your position in life: with your boys in your girl's fist."

The crowd chuckled and Edward flipped him off. "You would kick my ass if it were any other way."

"True, true. Bells is my sissy too. And I love her and you better let her keep a good grip on those boys or i'll crack em."

"Nice, Em." Bella shot him a look.

Emmett grinned. "I promise I'm done being crass now. Edward, you've been a blessing in our family and we love you. Even though you're whipped. So cheers. I wish you the best, I know that besides being the most whipped man in the universe, you're also the happiest about it." More laughter. "Thanks for being the best little brother ever, and thanks for making my sissy happy."

Everyone cheered and Bella and Edward took their turns hugging- and smacking- Emmett.

"I'd like to make a toast as well."

Edward whipped around, and for the first time all day, the grin on his face morphed into a dark, angry expression. "Why are you here?"

"Hi everyone... I'm Lauren. I just wanted to say that I... made a mistake."

Bella sat down. Why was that skank crashing her wedding? This day was going perfectly until she came.

"You did make a mistake," Edward snarled, "and you made another by coming here. How dare you?"

"Edward, please-"

"I thought I had gotten rid of you." He glared at her, and Bella hoped she was never on the receiving end of his dark, baleful looks.

Lauren trembled.

She caught sight of Nessa, who was watching with wide eyes. Edward must have caught sight of her too, because he deliberately searched out Carly, who was sitting contentedly in Esme's lap, and he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Crossing the dance floor to the stage, he took the microphone and turned to the guests. "Everyone... first, thank you for coming tonight, to show your support for Bella and I. It means the world. I have the... the honor, the biggest honor, of marrying the most beautiful, amazing woman in the world. And every man in the world will wish he was me, because I get not only one beautiful, exceptional girl. I get three. My Bella, and my beautiful daughters Nessa and Carly. You all are my whole world. I can't live without you. Bella I... I love you more than anything... and anyone. I always thought I would be alone forever. But you, you brought the light into my world and into my music. You turned my life upside down and my stomach inside out the first time I saw you. You are my wife now. I swear to you that our marriage isn't in vain, that I'll carry you and our girls with my wherever I go. I swear to you today that as long as I live i will by your best friend, your husband, your partner, your Piano Man. I love you, and only you."

A handkerchief mysteriously appeared near her elbow, and it was then that she noticed the tears running down her cheeks and plopping unceremoniously onto her lap.

Edward smiled softly at her as she wiped her face, then he turned to the crestfallen woman next to him. "You had your chance. I deserve better than what you did to me- I know that now. I retreated into myself, licking my wounds and becoming defensive and reclusive because you used me. Now I'm over you. I moved on, and I don't want you in my life. I'm sorry if that hurts you but the truth is I hurt because of you long enough. I've moved on, I made my life, and I haven't looked back since I realized that this woman, My Bella, is the woman of my dreams. So please... let me be happy. Don't embarrass yourself anymore. Just... go, and don't come back."

Tears in her eyes, she nodded. "I'm sorry. I won't bother you anymore." She left then, shoulders hunched in defeat, feet dragging slightly, and Bella almost felt bad for her. Almost. She was quickly distracted by Edward's lips at her ear, asking for a dance.

**B|J**

He never should have laid a finger on her. Watching her across the room, in the shadows handling several disasters so his brother-in-law's wedding could run smoothly, he fell in love with her again. Mary Alice Whitlock Cullen was a piece of work. The first day he met her, he knew immediately that her tongue was just as sharp as her mind, and that she could see inside his soul with a clarity that made her wise beyond her years. She also never let him dress unfashionably, and he knew with just one of her looks when she was dissatisfied with what he wore.

He knew her as well. She was doing that thing with her eyebrows, the one she does when she's about to get one of her brilliant ideas. The girl had problem solving skills worthy of any arbitrary or mediating firm. He always thought that was her true calling. He chuckled when her face cleared and she dashed off, returning with some item he could not see, but was obviously the solution to whatever the venue worker was asking about.

She had moved back in after that night, but things between them were still so awkward. He missed her so much. He just wanted her to be happy, and it frustrated him that what she wanted to be happy was starting to seem impossible.

She darted off again to help Bella set up for the cake and the bouquet and garter toss, and his body subconsciously gravitated toward her. He waited until after the laughing and whooping of the garter toss finished, and, sensing that she was drained sidled up behind her. "Tired?"

She didn't turn. "A little bit."

"Too tired for a dance?"

"Depends on who's asking," she smirked.

Jasper grinned and took her hand, coming around to face her. "May I have this dance, ma'am?"

Alice flushed as she usually did when he did his southern charm thing. He was the only person he knew that could fluster her with just a few words, he mused as he winked at her and led her to the dance floor.

As the up beat song faded into a soothing, quiet slow dance, Alice pulled back, and he tightened his grip on her. "Please stay."

"I have to do-"

"Nothing. Edward and Bella are dancing, the party is going fine. Please, _please_ have just one more dance with me."

She looked up into his clear grayish-blue eyes and then sighed, leaning into his chest. "I never could resist you anyway."

"Then... why did you leave?"

"I'm back aren't I?"

"No." He stopped dancing and took her face between his hands. "You're in the house. But you haven't come home." She started to pull back again but he didn't let go. Instead he wrapped his arms around her. "Look, I know I shouldn't have been so rough with you. I know that, and it eats at me every time I think about it. I wasn't being forceful to save your life, I was angry at your ridiculous actions. No matter how much your life was at risk and no matter how much I tell myself and others that I did it to keep you safe, I know it isn't the truth. I did it because you were acting out and I was lashing out."

She sniffed. "I don't know if that's true. I mean, every time I think about that day, I think about how stupid I was being. I was blaming everything on you, with the failed in-vitro, and all that other stuff, and then I started drinking and... next thing I knew I was in the car. And some part of me wondered if after the way I have treated you, if you could love me enough to get me out of that car."

"Alice... how can you even... pissed off or not, I never would have let you drive even to the corner. It's not about whether or not I love you... you know that I do. Its about your safety and the safety of everyone around you. I would never let you... drive drunk as what? Some kind of punishment? Do you know how ludicrous that sounds?"

"I know," she sniffed. "I can't believe I let myself get so out of control... and so low on my own self esteem."

"And I can't believe I let my anger get the best of me," he murmured into her hair. "Forgive me, Alice."

In the background, the music swelled gently and the singer's voice became plaintive. _"If I fall... if I fall... if I fall, will you catch me?_

"Only of you forgive me."

"Always, Pixie."

She smacked his arm. "Only Edward gets to call me that."

He chuckled. "I've missed you."

"And I, you."

"You... look beautiful tonight." he pressed a kiss into her hair. "You look even better now that I can hold you."

"_Seems to me, i'm exactly where I dreamt I would be... and the view from here is something to see, but I need a hand to hold on to..."_

Jasper took her hand when he registered the words, and she squeezed it gently. They danced, the party planning forgotten, and the silent forgiveness and understanding growing between them. They would be okay.

**J|A**

She never felt safer than she did in that moment, wrapped in his arms with his lips in her hair. They would be okay.

**A|E**

"What is it, Bella Baby?"

"Look," she said, nodding to her left.

He followed her gaze and his face softened as he saw Alice and Jasper dancing, sharing intimate kisses and embraces. "I'm glad," he said softly, turning to her again.

"Me too. Hopefully we can escape before Alice goes all Wedding Nazi again."

He laughed. "She would slaughter us both later."

"Yeah true." Her disgruntled expression made him laugh. "Our girls need us still."

"Yeah they do," he agreed. He liked how that sounded.

"Edward, I have a surprise for you. After we get home."

He raised an eyebrow. "What kind of surprise?"

"One I know will mean a lot to you."

"Carlisle's lawyer helped me a lot with this too."

"Lawyer?" he gulped. The family lawyer, J. Jenks, was very good at his job. But he always thought that the reason he was so good at his job was because man was frighteningly self-serving and conniving. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what strings Jenks had to pull, and what those strings were attached to, in order to get done what Bella wanted done.

"No worries, Edward," she giggled, taking in his expression, "Nothing illegal happened, and Jenks didn't really work for a mob-boss. He helped with your adoption you know."

"Yeah." Why did she bring up his adoption? "I still think he's a mobster," he muttered.

Bella giggled. "You're silly."

He smirked. "But you love me."

She stood up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips, then she smirked. "I know you love me."

He smiled but then what she said registered in his mind. "What? Wait a second..." but she was off, dragging Alice to the bride's quarters so that she could get out of her wedding dress and they could head home.


	26. Twenty Five

**a/n: well here's the last chapter. there's an epilogue and then my usual disclaimer and announcement stuff so still keep your eyes peeled! thanks for all your support, i'm glad you guys have enjoyed this... improvised story. **

**cheers and thanks,**

**~temporaryinsanity.**

* * *

_Playlist: none_

* * *

"So where is my surprise?"

She handed him a yellow envelope. "In here."

"Yeah. There's a couple things in there. The first one is from me. A wedding present."

He pulled the first sheet out of the envelope. It had a Department of Motor Vehicles header and he squinted in confusion. It was a… gift receipt? License PIANOMAN, registered to Edward Cullen… make and model… holy shit! It was a brand new Volvo XC60. "You bought me an SUV?"

"Yup."

"Why? I mean… not that I'm complaining, but… why?"

"We know you like your old Volvo but we figured we should get something more… family oriented. Don't you think?"

Suspicious, he nodded.

She smiled. Good, it should cart the five of us around just-"

"Five?" His eyes must have been bulging out of his head. What did she mean by five?

Bella just smiled again. "The next ones are from the lawyer and my doctor."

"Oh…kay…" still confused, he scanned the next document. It required his signature… for permanent legal custody of Vanessa Newton, for legal paternity… he could adopt Nessa! "Bella Baby I… I don't know what to say." He was absolutely floored.

"Say you'll be my daddy for real," Nessa pleaded.

"You're okay with this?"

"Yeah. I also wanna… change my last name."

He swallowed.

"When the adoption goes through I'll be Vanessa Cullen."

"I would be… honored." He hugged her for a long time, and sat with her in his lap while he signed all the pages that would mark him as Nessa's father forever. He couldn't help but wonder how all this happened. Adoptions took ages. But then he remembered who was helping Bella and Nessa with all of this and he shuddered. Jenks could get it done.

"We still have to send the papers to Jenks and go to court, the appointment is on Tuesday at ten in the morning."

He nodded, still reeling at all that was going on.

"Since Dad is speechless why don't you just show him the last one, mom?"

Bella giggled at him and slid the last paper out of the envelope.

"Blood tests? Why am I reading this?"

"I told you he wouldn't get it momma."

"He'll get it. He's a smart guy and his dad is a doctor."

Edward ignored them talking about him like he wasn't there, and read the blood test result. Her blood counts were normal and she was perfectly healthy, thank God. There was something else, a note on the bottom. Presence of a hormone consistent with the… pregnancy test taken? She was pregnant again!

He swallowed again. Last time she was pregnant it hadn't gone so well. Well okay, it was fine, since she didn't even _notice_, but her delivery from what he understood was awful and nearly cost her her life and the life of their baby. Pregnancy was risky, he didn't want her to get hurt. Or worse…

Panic rose in his chest, closing in on his throat and choking him.

"Edward? You're pale. Are you okay?"

"We just got married… I can't lose you yet."

"Lose me? Edward, I'm just having a baby."

"But last time that happened I was gone and you were in so much pain, and they said you lost a lot of blood and Carly and-"

Nessa wisely left the room, slipping upstairs quietly.

His wife (he really liked that) sat down next to him, taking his hands. "Edward the reason why Carly's delivery was so… insane, because I don't really know how else to describe it, was because I didn't even know that she was in there. You said it yourself, we were completely unprepared for a baby. Doctors have a little more work to do when they have no idea that you're pregnant, much less in labor. This time I know, and we can see the doctor and hear the baby's heartbeat, and the doctor will tell me what to do when it's time to deliver, and they will be there to make sure nothing goes wrong."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay."

The weekend passed peacefully, and they went to their appointment on Tuesday with the judge so he could declare Edward to be officially Nessa's father.

They went through the motions of the judge entering the court and then they sat down as Jenks went through all the legal business that involved it. Bella's fingers dug into his knee more than once to keep his leg from bouncing.

He couldn't sit still. He still didn't believe he was so damn _lucky_ to be named the official father of someone as amazing and intelligent as Vanessa Newton—Cullen. Vanessa Cullen. Jenks had already finished with the name change stuff. His breath caught in his throat. The judge was addressing them directly now, and they were told to stand. He didn't hear anything past the judge giving his blessing and congratulations to them, saying that the adoption had been approved.

He was in a daze all the way home, barely seeing the trees outside the window. He needed music. Music had always been his comfort zone, his area of security where he could express himself without being hurt. The meaning of that had changed for him, though. He hid behind his music for a long time, closing himself off and becoming very lonely. Now his music was the way he expressed his love for his wife – he had a _wife!_—and daughters. Holy cow he had daughters. Two of them, as amazing as humanly possible. He was so grateful.

His fingers flew across the keys for hours, expressing, composing, arranging, and at the end, the pieces of music that were born of the gratefulness and joy that had him bursting at the seams. When he finished playing it through, not a sound could be heard in the whole house. Even the dogs were silent.

He wondered how long he'd been there and where everyone was. To his surprise he found a sleeping Carly curled into Bella's chest and Nessa curled into her side on one of the love seats in the piano room with him, watching him with awestruck expressions.

He stretched and then sat down on the couch with them. "How long have I been composing?"

Bella smiled. "We got home at eleven-thirty. It's almost eight."

"Wow… did you guys eat?"

"No. we've been watching you."

Edward grinned. "Well come on then. I have some new material for Cookie's now. And we have plenty to celebrate today."

He had plenty to celebrate alright. His life was right again. It couldn't get any better.


	27. yikes

**i'm sorry to everyone who thought this was going to be an update... but i need to get this all out, all at once. this is being posted in every unfinished story on my profile, so if you follow more than one, ignore this after the first time. okay, here we go.**

**I have the WORST case of writer's block EVER! So here's what's going on. I have some stories I'm going to tear down and repost, or maybe not repost... here's what's happening:**

**Piano Man... l've gotten some PMs wondering when I'm going to finish it. Truth is, as of right now all it needs is an epilogue (that I've written and rewritten like twenty six times and am never satisfied with) and some serious editing. So I'm going to do that. I actually sort of hate that story right now, so I'm going to majorly tweak it, maybe. I do all my twilight stories without a beta... if I had one it would be nice, though.**

**I am going to tear down The Reason as well. It also needs serious editing. And I might change the point of view. I feel like first person POV is a bit more engaging.**

**The untitled one I started as a Carlisle/Esme slash Edward/Bella is lost. I lost my notebook. So I don't know when or if I'll repost or update that. I was completely winging that story in my notebook, no outline, no nothing... Just a vague idea of Carlisle and Esme having a son and what their lives would be like.**

**I also have half a chapter for a story I was inspired to write by a nightmare I had, and it is going to be an E/B story entitled 'The Swanson Keep'... I have it outlined and ready to write when I'm done with all my other projects... and there are plenty as you can see.**

**One more thing: the YouPOV story I started called 'If I Were You' I'm completely blocked on. Those of you who have written or read rosalie/emmett stories that have heard the title song (by hoobastank) might have an idea where I'm going with it... help me out with some suggestions. I've scrapped my outline of this story dozens of times, and I'm sort of wondering what to do. So yeah.**

**On to 'Instant Star' Stories. Only Hope also has to be reposted... and I lost the notebooks for that too. So I don't know when I can finish it. That makes me sad, because I had two thirds of the story written when I started posting it. but i will finish it. this i promise.**

**I took down all of 'The Hunted' parts one, two, and three. They might be rewritten... most likely not. I sorta hate them right now too... I think they need to be ferociously readjusted. In the very distant future, with a little help, perhaps, I might edit and repost them. We'll see. **

**'Come Out, Come Out...' is going to be taken down; it won't be edited or reposted. **

**So, next topic: I recently had a burst of inspiration to write fanfics for my childhood favorite TV show, Kim Possible. I have all the chapters finished and ready to be edited (I finished the whole thing in like... three weeks, I think). I do have a beta for my KP fic, his name is Sentinel and he's quite the sidekick. The story is called 'I Lost A World the Other Day' and it's sort of romance, it's got some, okay a little bit more than a little bit of angst, it's got some suspense sections, a little bit of humor... yeah. i'm in love with it. i hope you will be too.**

**I wrote a KP tragedy, entitled Cold. I am writing an alternate ending/extension of that story, and I've hit a bit of a block on it... okay, i'm totally blocked. i type three words and i'm this close to throwing my cool tablet thing across the room. frustrated a bit, but that's part of life i guess. in any case, I'm up to chapter thirteen out of maybe somewhere between 25 and 30, so there's work to be done in all of that. Suggestions and reviews will help!**

**I also cranked out a first chapter for yet another new story... this one involves genetic experiments. I have a lot of research to do in this topic, and I'm very sure it will take a lot of time and subscriptions to iTunes University to get this story down right. I want it to be sci-fi-ish, and romanc-y, and action/adventure-y, and humorous, and all kinds of good stuff that will keep you all reading.**

**All of this being said, you might wonder where I'm going to find time to do all of this... I will. I have recently come into a whoooole lot of free time due to some health issues I'm experiencing... a long story that begins and ends with stress leading to out of control physical symptoms. Maybe it's been a case of 'biting off more than I can chew' seeing as how I work now in addition to school full time in addition to my mom's illness which I've explained already in some author's notes... talked it over with my folks and have made some changes: I reduced my work hours majorly and took the rest of the semester off in lieu of some counseling and treatment for all the other stuff happening to my body as a result of all this... like I said, it's out of control, and I figure it's time to take a step back and help myself before moving on with my education. So now I've got two appointments a week, one day of work a week, and the rest of my schedule is rather empty. **

**So. Slowly but surely, tackling one thing at a time, I will get this stuff done. I don't really know what order I'll get them done in, it sort of depends on my current inspiration. Right now, I'm doing KP fics. Maybe, when I watch BD2 I'll be inspired to write twifics again, and switch back to that. I don't know. In the mean time, if you want to read what's out so far and make suggestions... I will greatly appreciate it. **

**in any case, this is all the news for my stories right now. if you want to try something completely different, drop by the Kim Possible fanfiction archive, there's some pretty cool stuff going on there... I've got all new pals, Sentinel, Levi, this guy writing the most complicated and intense and engaging story I've ever read, entitled 'Fractured' and a whole bunch of funny stuff about drunk villains and manly male teachers in cheer uniforms... yeah. It's getting funky in KPville, so check it. **

**I've also written one shots for movies, which are small in number and rather random bursts of inspiration... so if you like, check those too.**

**If not, and you're simply obsessed with Twilight... you should see about some therapy while you wait for me to fix my twifics... just kidding.**

**Hope you have a wonderful rest of the day... week... month, year... whatever. I'll try to be as efficient as possible with all this. pm or review with any questions, thanks.**


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